Help - I need to help my wife relax

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Help - I need to help my wife relax
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 8:14pm

This is our second cycle of IVF, the first one ended in an ectopic pregnancy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 11:36am

Honestly, I haven't gone that far in a cycle yet, but I know that since you are posting this asking for help, you are probably doing all you can to comfort her. Your support is the most important thing

About me: Sheri 35, DH 42, happily married 16 years, 3 furbabies TTC#1 since forever, MFI (complications from Type 1 Diabetes) December, February IUIs cancelled. One thing after another. March IVF stopped for uterine polyps (my turn to have something
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 4:53pm
The pain could be from the egg retreval, or it could be implantation cramping. Or it could be something else entirely! If you or she are truly concerned, don't hesitate to call your RE. They will be able to answer all of your questions and hopefully put your mind at ease.

Our bodies go through a lot during the whole process, so aches and pains and cramps are par for the course. I would guess it would be too early to "feel" an ectopic pregnancy, but I would ask the experts on that one.

This is a very, very hard process and extremely emotional. Good luck...I really hope things work out this cycle for both of you!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 8:27pm

That is sweet that you posted here.

----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 8:52pm

We haven't started IVF yet but I do know about the whole ectopic thing. We had been trying since 2006 for a baby and we got pregnant on our first IUI and we were over the moon. Sadly, things ended in an ectopic and I had to take the MX shot which really took its toll. Now after another 5 IUIs with BFNs we are moving onto IVF. I can totally understand how she would worry about having another ectopic because she knows it can happen. In all likelihood, she won't have a repeat ectopic or MC but the fear will always be there.

I would just support her and tell her that everything will be fine and you WILL have your baby. The other gal mentioned that and it is very calming even thought we know our husbands don't have a crystal ball. Come home with flowers one day (if she likes flowers) or do something sweet for her. Give her a foot or hand rub. I find that extremely calming.

I hope this is it for you and you will get your healthy baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Sun, 04-03-2011 - 2:30pm

The good news is that you guys know that IVF works for you. So many couples do IVF over and over and the embryo does not implant anywhere. It seems a bit early to feel that kind of pain anywhere. You are such a good husband to even think to come on this board, maybe you should introduce your wife to it.

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Sun, 04-03-2011 - 3:15pm

Coming from the most insane, crazy worrier, quite possibly on the planet, to put it bluntly, she's going to worry. No matter what. I doubt there is much you can do or say to stop her from worrying. At least that's how it was w/ me. I can tell you, having been thru IVF 6 times, that side pains are TOTALLY NORMAL after both ER and ET. I always had side pains and got all freaked out. Knock on wood, they never meant anything bad.

One thing that helped me, finally, after all of the years (6 cycles of IVF takes a while), is I finally realized that if I worry or not, it's NOT going to change the outcome. It's not like just because I worried, that'd make this IVF cycle work better than if I wasn't worried. Worrying does NO good, and it quite possibly might actually do harm. Stress plays a BIG part in this whole IVF/infertility thing, I am now pretty convinced of that.



6-time IVF Survivor

2 m/c's