i feel sad everyday

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
i feel sad everyday
5
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 6:10pm
Well we wnt tru our first invitro treatment in june 27... two weeks later a bff :'( my heart was ripped from my chest and couldn't even breath. I have always wanted a baby since I was 18 now still with my husband at 27 10 yrs later still no baby. it breaks my heart to see my husband sad because of me because im the cause I have my left tube blocked and my right blocked just a bit open. I don't knw wat to do anymore everyone is getting pregnant around me im happy for them but I wish I knew how the feeling would feel to pee on the test and get two lines! My heart yearns I hate my self :( sometimes I just want to leave my husband so he can start his fam with someone else. All I do is cry and be depressed I don't even look foward for the day anymore. What gets me the most they inserted 3 good quality embryos 5 day doc sais they where really high quality my uterus was iin great condition. When the neg results came doc said idk what went wrong you should've got pregnant. Life is unfair at times lots of babies are born to these awful womans that neglect and kill there own babies. And I that im so ready to give my love and everything to my kids I can't even have one. Life just trips me out has me asking questions everyday still no answer!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 7:56pm

PLease don;t lose hope.....for some, the IVF journey is longer than it is for others. And TRUST ME.I know the emotional, physical AND financial expense it takes of you! We attempted IUI several times with no success, and attempted our first IVF in October of 2009. I am no spring Chicken, so we knew it was a gamble! We used both ICSI and assisted hatching in our IVF process....and Successfully became pregnant with TRIPLETS! Sadly, only one of our children survived, but she is strong and healthy, and a gift!!! We just completed our second round of IVF...and we are currently just 3 weeks pregnant.....but thanks to the right mix of Meds, and ICSI and assisted hatching....we succeeded again. I NEVER thought this attempt would go so well.

It is very painful to ride the waves of hope and hopelessness.....but if you and your Hubby stick it out.....work together and fin the RIGHT clinic and the right "cocktail"...your dreams CAN come true!!!

In fertility is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to understand except those that LIVE it!! These teemagers and others that are Fertile Myrtles.....make it very hard to keep our chins up and move forward.

Breathe...Just breathe. You have alot of emotions to work through.

Lindsay

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 8:09pm
Thank u for the kind words, and replied to my post. It is a rollercoaster its a road of the unknown. I do try to keep good thoughts and have faith. But there's time that I can't even fool my own self. I do thank god for my husband sticking with me Tru all of this. We also did icsi n assisting hatching but I did realize at the time is a 50 50 chance to get pregnant. Its just hard for all of us the go Tru this infertility struggles. We can just say ok let's get pregnant n ban it happends we do put mind,money,and all we have.
I thank u for sharing ur story congrats on ur success and sorry for the loss on the two babies. Thank u lindsay
Avatar for trinigirl2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 8:24pm
Hello, I'm sorry you are feeling so defeated right now. I can remember how crushed I was when my first ivf cycle failed, I was devastated. I just wanted you to know it will get better, you just need to take baby steps forward. I think it is great news that you had so many good quality embies. I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Amanda

Me - (Amanda 27) My dh-- 26 We have been ttc # 1 for 3yrs 5mths My dh has severe oligospermia, Ivf with icsi is our only option. Ivf # 1--- failed Ivf # 2--- failed Ivf # 3-- hopefully in March 2013 at a new clinic!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 8:54pm

Just a side note...and example of miracles that DO happen. Our Friends going thru IVF the same time we did in 2009 had THREE failed attempts. They decided t take 2 months off then attempt a fourth time. A month before their cycle...they became Pregnant with TWINS....naturally!! my 38 year old Friend...was told she will NEVER hve children. She had one tube removed and some blockage in the other. She JUST gave birth to a healthy Baby Boy in June.

Your time WILL come......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 9:46pm
Thank u trinigirl yes I was n iam very devasted but im trying my best to not give up.n thank u too lindsay I do belive in miracles.