"It's very, very unlikely you will get pregnant with your own eggs." (Long and whiny)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
"It's very, very unlikely you will get pregnant with your own eggs." (Long and whiny)
3
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 5:26pm

That's what I was told last week by my new RE, after similar advice from the RE who performed my failed IVF last month. I am grief stricken.

My first RE focused on the FSH levels and poor response as the basis of his opinion, but the new RE took one look at me via u/s and proclaimed my left ovary atrophic (aka done) and my right one "pretty depleted" & plagued by an endometrioma. He also pointed out that I have an extremely tight cervix, and he recommends a hysteroscopy to dilate it before any future ER or ET. He believes that any trauma during transfer lowers implantation rates... and my Dec. transfer was really difficult because of the tightness and sharp right angle of my anatomy.

Both doctors are willing (begrudgingly) to do IVF with me, but they believe my best chance is with DE. They both pushed pretty hard in that direction, in fact.

All my fight is gone, and I feel defeated. DH, however, has gotten feisty (his words) and wants to try IVF again. The new clinic doesn't use BCP in their protocols because they think it can over-suppress, and they also don't batch their patients. It's a much more individualized approach. DH believes that because we got 1 embryo last time, the new protocol might give us at least 1 again - if not more. He says he will probably have regrets if we don't try at least once more with the new method, and I can understand his point. He keeps saying what we've all said: "It only takes one!"

On the other hand, I am not sure I can go into another IVF with optimism. It's a lot easier to deal with the injections and probing, not to mention the 4-hour round trip to the RE office, if you believe you might end up with a baby at the end. All my faith in my reproductive system is gone. In some ways, I'm ready to begin grieving my "loss" so that we can eventually decide if we want to pursue parenthood through DE or adoption.

I know many of you on this board have faced similar decisions and bad news. Any thoughts or advice would be welcome.

Jennifer, 35. DH 32 | TTC our first for 2 years, and blessed with IF insurance coverage DX: DOR and Endometriosis. Stage 3 endo Apr 2011; FSH: 20.5 in Oct 2011 and 19.5 in Nov 2011 IVF#1 Dec 2011 - 1 mature & 1 intermediate egg retrieved, 1 perfec
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

I am guessing you don't have many fertility doctors in your area since you mentioned the 4hour drive. I would say go get a 3rd opinion.

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2000

We were in a situation where we faced the possibility of using donor sperm. We had been on this roller coaster of "you need to use donor", followed by "no DH's will work", followed by "you need to use donor." It hit a point for us one day that DH broke down in the parking lot of the doctor's office after hearing "you need to use donor" from one of the doctors who had been so positive. As it turned out, we were fortunate enough to have 2 tries from sperm DH had banked during a point when things were going well and our RE put us back on the "we can use DH's" with the frozen backup.

But after the first IVF failure, when I knew that we only had one more try with DH's sperm, I had to think about what would we do after that? I had to really sit down and analyze my priorities. If my desire was just to have a baby or have "our" baby? Did I want to be pregnant or did I want to be a mother? It was that soul searching that helped me get through the next cycle, our last try with DH's sperm. I knew that we had a chance, but even if the cycle failed, we wouldn't have failed in our quest to become parents, we would just be starting another path. For me, knowing we had thought out next steps, helped me get through that last attempt with DH's sperm. We ended up being blessed with a positive result (and a beautiful little boy).

You are fortunate to have insurance coverage, so you have a little flexibility that some others don't have. Remember that doctors don't know everything. There is a big difference between unlikely and impossible. I've seen unlikely happen. If you want to take that chance, then go for it, but get feisty with your DH! Try not to go into a cycle feeling defeated. I truly believe having a thread of faith (even with knowing that it may just be a thread) is important. It may also be helpful for you to know where do you go if you need to pursue a new path. I can't tell you how much having that plan in my mind helped me. I told myself..."We're going to do this. It's going to work. But, if it doesn't, we're going to do this next."

I also want to add, there are some RE's that specialize in helping women with elevated FSH and low ovarian reserve. Is your doctor one of those? If not, I would agree with artgirl that you might want to seek out another opinion. It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone who might have more experience with cases similar to your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
So sorry you had to hear all that once again from an RE. I knew early on that if I wanted to have a baby I would have to use donor eggs. So I had many years to accept it, althought some days I thougth the doc's could have been wrong. For me, I wanted to experience pregnancy and being a mother, so if my only option was donor eggs, then I was gonna go that route. I understand wanting to use your own eggs.....but think about what how you really feel about donor eggs and if you are really ready to accept that you are not using your own eggs. I know that my eggs were from a donor, but I put that in the back of my mind, because I carried Matthew all time and he couldn't be more apart of me.

Valarie
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