not sure i want to try IVF

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
not sure i want to try IVF
6
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:07pm

Hi. I am Jennifer, age 38 TTC with 38 year old hubby for 2 years, just failed cycle 2 of IUI, starting our third and final cycle this weekend. We have no diagnosed issues, so unexplained infertility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 11:28am

Hi Jennifer,

Some options to consider that would give you higher chances of success at your age (sucks to say "at your age", I know....but TTC sucks in general!!) might be donor eggs or donor embryos.

Me: 36 DH: 35 TTC for 6 + years.  2007-2011: 3 fresh IVF and 2 FET with own eggs; all BFN.  2011-2012: Switched to DE; 3 chemical pg's.  2013: Moved to TX; starting DE cycle w/new RE.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2009
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 4:55pm
That came out a bit wrong, not offended at all- merely my view on choosing to parent. In fact, our church actually encourages small families for environmental/social reasons, but my personal belief and desire was to have more children. I guess I'm big on personal rights, so if you want children via adoption, ivf or other means- go for it.
It sounds like I'm anti-adoption, which is not the case. We have however had enough heartache to make me encourage people to keep their eyes open and be sure they are told the truth. I think a open/ semi- open adoption would maybe alleviate some of these potential issues that were easy to cover up in a traditional closed adoption.
We are expecting our second set of twins, it's what has made this crazy journey worth it. At every turn there were disappointments but eventually joy and relief. Our first cycle was the most difficult, it completely fell apart and I was devastated when it didn't work. We decided to move forward and luckily the next cycle worked, the decision to do this last cycle after our failed FET was the most difficult for us. Partially a "we already have great kids, are we asking too much" we finally decided that we had to do what we didn't think we would regret and moved forward with the cycle. In perspective now, it's hard to know why we did what we did- we had agreed the FET was the end of it, but were enjoying the kids so much- I think that's what made us do it. We've agreed that we probably won't do a transfer after their birth, but once again it all depends- if they are full-term and healthy we might be tempted.
The PIO is nasty stuff, a cream called EMLA does wonders for making it almost pain free, it's the only shot I bother with the numbing for.
I don't know much about the attain program, but many clinics have shared risk or multi-cycle plans- it all depends on your situation which is right for you.
Sarah, 25 *IVF*First Cycle Canceled. Second Cycle Chemical Pregnancy. *Third Cycle Successful 3 weeks hospital for Pre-E. E&E born July 2010 via emergency cesarean at 34 weeks. NICU for a month. Now home & healthy. *FET with embies from cycle 3- BFN
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 4:48pm

I attempted my FIRST IVF at 38...and got pregnant with triplets. Our second attempt this last month (at almost age 40) also resulted in a positive...but we just lost the HB today.

I am a FULL advocate of IVF...I say go for it! We also looked into adoption, and the cost was going to be as much if not MORE than 2 cycles of IVF.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 3:27pm

Hi, nlhousewifey- I did not mean to ethically question your or anyone's decision, we all have the right to do what we want, I was more asking rhetorically. I am sorry if I offended you in any way, that was not my intent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 3:27pm

Such a difficult and personal decision.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2009
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:30pm
*All personal opinion*
We decided IVF was the only option we were comfortable with, I had been open to adoption, DH given his previous negative experiences with adoption was not. DH has 2 adopted daughters from his first marriage, both private adoptions at great expense- neither was what he bargained for. Both were marketed as "healthy caucasians" The first has severe behavioral issues stemming from Fetal Alcohol syndrome, the second has less severe issues but still had many problems including difficulty with being a bi-racial child in a white household. As much as I want to say love is enough, it isn't always. Now, I have friends that are adopted and have turned out just fine, but make no mistake- adoption is not just about finding children homes, it's a business and agencies don't always have your best interests at heart.
A recent option that you may want to consider is embryo adoption, you would be in control over the pregnancy (ensuring healthy habits) and the cost is lower than a traditional adoption, and the age of a womans uterus typically has very little effect on pregnancy rates, it's mostly about the eggs.
As far as the "ethics" given that you are on an IVF board, most of us would argue that we have every right to want our own biological children. Infertility shouldn't take that away unless we are comfortable with adoption. Do normally fertile people get questioned about their choice to procreate and not adopt instead?
Sarah, 25 *IVF*First Cycle Canceled. Second Cycle Chemical Pregnancy. *Third Cycle Successful 3 weeks hospital for Pre-E. E&E born July 2010 via emergency cesarean at 34 weeks. NICU for a month. Now home & healthy. *FET with embies from cycle 3- BFN