Please help me so unhappy and fed up hate my boyfriend so much but love him alot

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2011
Please help me so unhappy and fed up hate my boyfriend so much but love him alot
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 6:55pm
Right... I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and hAve recently moved in together 6 months ago, at first are relationship was ace! I felt so special he was so in love with me and I wasn't as much he never and I mean ever left my side or wanted me to go aniwere without him he did everything for me he told me he loved me everyday and when I wasn't with him we would constantly be on the fone! I miss this sooo much! Anyway I think I took this for granted abit and didn't like him as much as he did me and cut a long story short I cheated on him with his good friend and this went on for about 2 months I regret now! When he found out through gossip he wouldn't believe them and one day he found my make up in his car he confronted me and I denied but told him I didn't want to be with him no more Wich I didn't at the time he was begging for me back for weeks he would cry on the fine every night sendin me long silly messages asking me back... We lost contact and 2 month later got back in contact and got back together I fell pregnant and we moved in together this time I did really love him the relationship was nt the same as befre Wich I hate he isn't as nice to me doesn't spend as much time with me and he started to text phone flirt with numerous amount of girls go out partying when girls wer there ignore my calls text sleep out not tell me where he was and then it got alot worse are son died in febuary 2011 he was full term stillborn and ever since then he has got even worse and dying for another baby as we thought something was missing I luckily got pregnant again very soon after and now I'm 10 weeks gone and ever since our boy Harrison passed away which he took badly obviously he has started being abusive which he never ever did before he hits me punches me really hurts me he calls me all the names under the sun when all I do is everything for him ! He really treats me bad he goes out alot more and doesn't answer the Fone and my biggest concern is he constantly talks on the phone texts other girls alot even when where both in bed all i hear is tap tap I've sneaked and look sometimes bad sometimes just a general chat it's really getting me down he denies me to literally every girl and tells them he's single he that really hurts he doesn't accept me as a friend on fb but he does UVA girls I once rang a girl he had been chattin to and she sed she didn't know I existed when I c him on his phone or giggling I try look he gets really defensive and tells me to go away if I get hold of his fone he takes it off me as fast as anything. You seen before he has passwords on it and when I confront him and explain how much it hurts he starts an argument and can never get a straigt answer and says there friends I kno he's not ashamed as me as I am much better looking then him I don't think he would physically cheat but I find this just as bad! I think y is e with me if e enjoys talking to other girls soo much but he swears he does why is he with me???? Is he using me? He swears he loves me but y wud he treat me this way? We have a great sexual relationship but I am just so unhappy at the moment we argue everyday because of the things he does and I always go on at him about him he makes me cry literally everyday I hate him sooo much but love him sooo bad too we have been through alot together and cnt c my life without him but ino this is wrong but I would be so upset if i left him! I just dont know what to do I really need some help and advice as I am just Soo unhappy ??? Please help xx
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
(((HUGS))) pp2011, I'm so sorry that he's treating you so badly :(

I wanted to let you know that this board isn't the best place for a response in your situation, it's for women who are undergoing in-vitro fertilization to get pregnant. I wanted to pass along a couple of links for boards that would be more suited for your situation, the members on them would be very supportive:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Toxic Relationships:

Recognizing & Dealing With Domestic Abuse:

Please seek some help, it's not good at all for either you or your baby to be in an abusive relationship.