What do I say? Sister's IVF Failed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
What do I say? Sister's IVF Failed
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 2:41pm
My sister found out yesterday that her supposedly final IVF was unsuccessful.

My mom called me this morning, but I haven't talked to my sister yet. I cried for 20 minutes when I found out, how can I face her and be strong for her?

If it's happened to you, what did anyone say or do that was most helpful, most hurtful?

Please let me know - and my prayers and hopes are with you all! Maggie

Avatar for kimandbrian16
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 7:45pm
What a wonderful sister you are. I am in the midst of my 1st IVF and waiting to have our blood draw on the 7th to find out if we have a success or failure. My entire family is on pins and needles watching and waiting along with me and I have had dreams about how I will tell them all if it does not work. (also dreams about how fun it would be to tell them all it did)... anyway... I think you are wonderful and she will sense that no matter what you say. Just be there for her and let her lead you in what she might need.


Avatar for onetiredmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 05-03-2003 - 9:37pm
I haven't been through it, but I do want to mention that a relative had IVF at least 3 times. She miscarried each time. She was told she would never have children of her own. She adopted a wonderful little boy and then became pregnant. She gave birth again just before I had my DD, so she now has 3 children, 2 of which are her natural children.

This is not an uncommon thing to happen. Even if she is not successful in carrying a child, adoption is a wonderful thing.

My thoughts are with her.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 11:02am

Kim - thanks for the kind words, and I'll say a special prayer that your IVF was sucessful.

My sister and her husband are planning on pursuing an international adoption now. We are all excited about that possibility, and are relieved that she won't have to take the hormone drugs anymore :) - at the same time we hope that once she gets away from the drugs and stress of her infertility treatments, and becomes a mother via adoption, she may conceive naturally in a few years. Our bodies work in strange ways! Thanks for everything.