What Should I Do?? Advice Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
What Should I Do?? Advice Please!
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 12:27am

Hi ladies,

I am in a dilemma and could really use your advice on this one:

-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 6:08pm


That's quite a bind! What a tough position - and it's so hard for us women because we're trying to be superwomen all the time. I'm sorry you have to go through such tough decisions.

My advice might be really warped, because I'm currently in the middle of an IVF cycle (had ER Friday and probably transfer Monday), so the hormones might be talking! It is my first IVF, and it was definitely MUCH harder than I thought it would be, physically and emotionally. I'm a professional woman, like you, and didn't find the right man until about 2 years ago (I'm 37). But I heard stories of so many women getting pregnant in their late 30's and early 40's that I thought it would be a walk in the park to get pregnant. As we started seeing a fertility specialist after one year of natural attemps all of these different things came up...I had diminished ovarian reserve, DH had antisperm antibodies, and to top it off, I responded poorly to ovarian stimulation. It's not to say we wont get pregnant, but one thing I kept saying over and over again was, "I wish someone had been realistic with me about how tough it is to get pregnant after 35."

So I won't mince matters - there is NO way of knowing how your body will respond to IVF. Some women have a really easy time, and some are hit with the worst side effects. Young women may respond poorly and and older women may produce tons of healthy eggs. Unfortunately some of it is only determined by giving the meds and gauging the resonse. And emotionally, there are several "checkpoints" along the way which are wrought with heartache. It seems at any point in the cycle, things could fail, the cycle could be cancelled, or two flawless embryos might still not get you pregnant.