Do you ever get jealous?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2008
Do you ever get jealous?
7
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 5:57pm
In the past two years I am learning things about myself and not all of them are good. Today I was chatting with my close friend and she asked me about my appointment and so i filled her in on my blockage and my wait for the fertility clinic, and I said that I am going to set an "end date" for next October, and if we aren't pregnant by Halloween, then we are going to give our baby stuff to my SILs because I can't sit and wait forever and four years between babies is my personal limit. Out of nowhere she says "some days I think I could have a fourth" and it felt like a kick in the gut because she JUST gave birth to her third three months ago and tried for only a month. She knows our history and it made me feel so jealous that we started trying before her, she not only got pg before me but gave birth before I am pg and she is already talking about her fourth...maybe I am oversensitive but I found it very rude to say at that moment when she started the conversation asking about my infertility. So when she said I haven't made that decision yet I said (rather coldly) you don't HAVE to make that decision he is only 3 months old! My point in this long and rambling story is that I don't like who I am becoming sometimes and wonder if infertility has had the same effect on anyone here?
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Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 9:36pm
Infertility has had that affect on me too! Sometimes it boggles my mind the things people say. I had a neighbor that was very fertile, she gave birth to two dd's in 18 mos and she tells me she is young enough to have more like she was implying I am not! Those type of comments can rub me the wrong way.

{{{{Hugs}}}}

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
Mon, 08-29-2011 - 9:07am
Yes Lisa i totally understand l feel just the same way! I am hypersensitive to comments such as that. Yes it was insensitive of your friend to say that especially when the conversation was around your fertility problems. Since we started ttc baby no3 three of my close friends have had babies and one of them is having her second next month. Each time i found out it was heartbreaking, as much as i was happy for them l just wanted it to be me. xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 9:19am
I couldn't have anything to do with anything baby or pregnancy before I got pregnant with Wyatt. I am not there yet. But I can feel myself slipping back into it. Which sucks because my sister is pregnant again. Why is she always pregnant when I am TTC? I swear she knows it on some level and just wants to stick it to me! LOL Seriously she would do that.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
Sat, 09-03-2011 - 1:22am
Hi Lisa

I just had to reply again because l had such an awful day with all this ttc lark mainly down to jealousy. My friend had a little girl after just having her little boy just over 18mths ago. I will be honest i cried when she text me, but why i knew this was coming and l have two gorgeous boys myself? I just think its because its everything l want. That feeling of going into hospital to have the baby, then letting people know and those first moments with your baby. I just cant ever see it being me again. I feel guilty because l should have felt only happiness for my friend but l couldnt l felt so jealous.

Its not a nice feeling is it? Its going to keep happening though isnt it until its our turn? So hope it is one day.
Claire x
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2008
Sat, 09-03-2011 - 9:11am
I feel just the same way, and it goes in cycles. Some days I feel like it is just a matter of time and it will be my turn, and since I know one more is my limit physically then I can out this horrible two year roller coaster behind me and move on. Other days it feels like there is no chance at all, and I am doomed to feel unfulfilled until I can somehow get over the wanting. I know what you mean about the whole experience - it isn't just the joy of the newborn that I crave, I am greedy and I want it ALL...the excitement of the bfp, the awe of the first kick, the thrill of the delivery and the afterglow of the special time of just you and your new baby that first night in the hospital. I had to force myself to visit my sil's in the hospital so I wouldn't look too rude, but it was horrible and I couldn't suppress the jealousy of it all. Hopefully it will happen for us soon, Claire! And please dont be afraid to post good news here. As much as I want it for myself, I would be so happy if everyone from this board were to graduate - it is different when you know a person has gone through something similar as you have somehow :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Sat, 09-03-2011 - 2:11pm

I completely hear you.

Mom to Silas Walker, born July 2009, thanks to IVF. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 1:47am

Yeah me too Lisa l would feel so happy for any lady who has been through fertility issues to get their baby because l know how hard it is. A friend of mine from another board is pg after trying for the two years like me. Im so pleased for her. Of course a little of wish it were me but chuffed for her.

Hang in there we are doing everything we can to make it happen xx