And the tears roll in...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
And the tears roll in...
7
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 10:22pm

*Drip Drop* The tears are flowing finally, i cant hold them in any longer! I SO desperately wanted this this month!! It has almost been a year since we officially started ttc and we havent even gotten one step closer. I just prayed every morning and every single night that God would please bless us with that BFP. All the women that dont even want their children, one after another being murdered whether after they have been on this earth for a lil bit or by abortion. Here i am still sitting here crying and begging, and to the point where i cant even look at babies without wanting to scream then just cry. I wonder if God is punishing me for having my first dd out of wedlock, and maybe this is my punishment for sinning. Me and my bf are getting married in july, and became engaged on valentines day. I thought Feb was the absolute perfect month with us engaged and the romance and the baby would be due in his birthday month. I had really wonderful IPS signs this month unlike most months!! Ive been nauseated, hot, headaches, hungrier, and tired than ever, and we were perfect on our bding this tiime i think! Everyone is always talking about going to see an infertility doctor, but we dont have the insurance or money for that so we are stuck on our own. Im honestly ready to give up all together and accept that i may never get to enjoy the wonderful blessing of pregnancy and giving my daughter a sibling, and joining me and

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/21cf56My siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 7:06am
I understand your pain. It is so maddening that good timing doesn't ensure a BFP, especially after you have tons of symptoms and get excited. I hope your TTC journey doesn't last much longer. (hugs)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 9:58am
I understand how you feel Tracy...I've been at it for 13 months myself and DS was conceived the first month trying. 12 months is not that long (well it is), it's still normal TTC average time. I try to tell myself that MY baby isn't ready yet and it makes me feel somewhat better. Don't be so sad, I'm sure it will happen sooner than later. Maybe you can just be proactive and start with a blood test for yourself to check out the hormones and go slowly from there. Don't be sad :)

 

Hélène

TTC #2

On a TTC break!<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 11:14pm
I am so sorry you are feeling so badly this month. Don't give up. Keep trying and keep that hope alive.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 1:07am
Thank you all for the words of comfort and gentle understanding! It really helps to be here! I try to talk to one of my friends about it but she has 3 children and can get pregnant at the snap of your fingers so it dont go anywhere with her... Im soo glad to have found other girlfriends who understand and have the right things to say!!
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/21cf56My siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2009
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 1:31am

I totally understand how you feel!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 10:41am

I am so sorry you are having to wait so long for your BFP.

Expecting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Mon, 02-23-2009 - 3:04am

I thank God for such a wonderful group of people that we can talk to in this club that is soo badly needed as we go thru these hard times! I honestly dont think i could live without the internet during the TTC area of my life! I would have no one i could tell my feelings and pour my heart out to that understands as perfect as we all do. The words of comfort and love really help you survive one more day thru this hard tough journey! I always think about how i never thought i would have trouble getting pregnant when back when i was drinking and doing other bad stuff all the time getting pregnant was like snapping my fingers( was pregnant twice.. first resulted in a miscarriage and the other my DD whos a major blessing)! Anyways i really hope everyone eles's journey will soon be over with that bright two pink or whatever color lines! I have been dreaming of

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/21cf56My siggie