DH and I are trying to have a child.
Hi Kali, I cannot imagine the pain you went through. I just got my BFP last week and I honestly hadn't really thought past that point, everything was about getting that positive. Then it was once I get my positive I get my baby. Now that I got it I am petrified. I am Thrilled, excited, scared and nervous all balled into one.
The only thing I can say to you is if you get that positive, that each pregnancy is different, take it one day at a time and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I saw my Dr. on friday because of a possible ectopic due to cramping, Thankfully all is going well so far and my exam revealed no ectopic and everything looks good. I know it is one thing to say take it a day at a time and quite another to actually do it but that is really all you can do. What happened last time is not your fault, these things just happen as horrible as it is. Just try to enjoy the process and going through it with your DH. Together I am sure the two of you can create great things. (If you need someone to talk to let me know, I still really like this board)
Thank you so much!
My DH and I are not actively TTC right now (just not preventing) and I am scared to get pg, too, but for a bit different reasons. With DDs pregnancy (and, well, the only one so far, haha), it was TERRIBLE. I had horrible morning sickness (aka hyperemesis gravidarum) until I was about 24 weeks. I threw up multiples times a day and was sooo sick 24/7, it was truly miserable. I was so depressed because of that.
Kali--- DH and I are currently trying and as much as seeing BFNs and AF showing breaks my heart each cycle, I feel very scared when I think I might actually see a BFP.
Sorry to hear about your loss. It's always hard to deal with and time only heals some of the pain. My DH and his ex-wife lost their first born daughter more than 25 years ago and he still gets very emotional about it sometimes.
Getting pregnant and having a child is such a huge thing and it will change your life forever and in ways you can't imagine. That's enough to scare the crap out of any sane person!
We have been TTC on and off for the past two years. Had one chemical pregnancy and the rest of the time nothing. There were months where I was so terrified of getting a BFP, even though I also wanted it. The workings of the human mind and the human heart are not always easy to understand. I am always amazed and amused at how it's possible to want or to think two totally opposite things.
I am still not sure that having another child will be the smartest thing. Financially, space-wise, marriage-wise, age-wise, you name it. I also had a very difficult first pregnancy and was in the hospital for the last six weeks of it. I couldn't do that now with a young child at home. If I start to think about this too much, though, I will drive myself crazy.
The reality is, that I never thought I could be a mother and it turns out I'm not all that bad at it. Never thought I could be a wife either and I'm doing ok with that too. I don't think that motherhood is something that I could have ever figured out in my brain. In my heart I knew that I wanted to have a child and I know that I want to have another one. So, I was kind and am kind to myself when the fear arises and I take it one day at a time and walk through the fear. Having other women to talk to and support me helps a lot.
Hope that helps.
I'd just like to add that I think Shiri has an amazing point.