baby shower blues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
baby shower blues.
8
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:28am

so i have to go to a baby shower on saturday. my friend is due with a boy mid-june, which was my due date before losing the pregnancy at 11 weeks. she is a dear friend and we were so excited to be pregnant together and share a due date. i feel so weird about going to this shower, as i know that my loss has been on a lot of their minds. the woman who is pregnant though has never talked to me about the m/c and i just know it will get brought up at the shower. part of me wants to just not go because i know it will be so very awful for me emotionally. especially since BF will be out of town so i will be going solo. but part of me really wants to show that i am alright and show my excitement and support for their family.

i do know i have resisted testing successfully because i cannot bear to face a BFN and then go to this thing. this cycle will be extra hard if AF shows because it puts me on hold for two cycles.

ugh.

sorry, had to vent. just feel really down about this thing. thanks for listening and extra babydust to all that took the time to read this!

xo Clare

 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:39am
I'm so sorry that you are going through this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 1:41pm
I give you credit for even going! The last baby shower I was invited to I respectfully declined. I just couldn't bear it. I do regret not going, though. I wish I had gone looking back on it. Good luck to you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 5:57pm
I am in the same predicament as you...well, very similar.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2009
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 6:54pm

Your feelings are totally normal...I think we've all felt that way at some point and a lot of the women on this board probably feel that way now. No one would ever judge you for feeling the way you feel about such a sensitive issue.

I just wanted to add....I had a friend's baby shower while I was in the 2WW last summer. The morning of the shower, I woke up with cramps and spotting. I literally cried in my bed for an hour. My husband told me to "call in sick" but I did pull it together and I went. I didn't want to be a no-show, I didn't want to let my personal issues interfere with her special day. I really wanted to see some girlfriends, have some cake and show support for her and what she was going through. That afternoon, I came home, took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I am having a little girl in 3 weeks.

Okay, so going to her shower didn't "get me pregnant" but...looking back, I'm glad I went. I got to focus on someone else for a change instead of obsessing. I wound up having a great time...the whole time thinking my period was coming. I went to a lot of showers while TTC, and I guess I just said to myself, when its my turn, these people will all be here in support of me.

No judgements...I know what the TTC process can do to a woman (or couple), emotionally, physically, etc. If you can't bear it, don't go. I'm sure everyone would understand. I just wanted to share my own experience.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:29pm

That is a beautiful story! Awww! :-)

I'll try to keep that in mind, I have to go on with my life even if I'm not pregnant. It's so hard to sometimes, though. Aw well. That's life.

Thanks for sharing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 10:30am

aw thanks for the support, ladies. i will go, i know that i want to support her and honestly feel like it would be weirder if i wasn't there. i am just reeeeaaallly prepared for how hard i know it will be.

NOT GOING TO TEST BEFORE GOING.

that will be helpful too :)

xo Clare

 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 11:13am

Good luck, Ella! I can only imagine how difficult it will be for you, and I greatly admire your strength! Fx that this is your month! I am sending lots of positive vibes your way!

All the best,

Susie - Mom to Jessie and 3 furbabies


Susie - Mom to Jessie


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
Sat, 04-10-2010 - 11:56am
Good luck today, Ella! I'm thinking of you.

Susie - Mom to Jessie and 3 furbabies


Susie - Mom to Jessie