bashed me

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008 bashed me
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 11:14pm
Alright ladies I decided to post a message on
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 12:15am

I don't know the details to your situation, such as the lies, rumors, reasoning for the court hearing and so forth that surrounded your decision and the events that unfolded, but ultimately, if you felt you weren't able to provide your child with the life they deserved and you just wanted them to have a shot at that life and be happy, then you did the right thing.

Its a shame that you were pouring your heart out and looking for support and/or help, but was only attacked instead. People can be quite cruel sometimes.

And you're right, it does take a lot of courage and strength to give up a child. If you believe you've done what's best for your son, then that is all that matters. Now all that's left is to hope the family that has taken him in can give him the best life possible and raise him to be a great man one day.

I do have a question, did you do an open adoption so that you can see him grow over the years, or did you leave it as closed?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 7:08pm

I'm probably going to seem like a total b!tch here, but I've got to say my piece.

I dug up your posts on BBC, and I have to say you kinda had it coming.

I know it hurts that you lost your child. That sucks. BUT there were things you could have done to prevent it from happening. If you had really wanted to regain custody of him, it seems all it would have taken is leaving your partner. Yeah, I know he was innocent--the accusations were empty. Regardless, had I been in that position, there'd have been no question in my mind as to what my choice would be. My child means the world to me. I have been with DH for 8 years, but omg I would leave him in an


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 7:32pm
I haven't gone to read your post, and I don't know the full story about your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 9:30pm
It was a closed adoption since the state of NC does not do open adoption ( which I do not understand why)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 2:38am

I would like to say a few things. First to the original poster. I am sorry for all you have gone through. I am sure it has been hard on you. Second, this topic is really for a different board. I do agree with other post that this is to difficult of an area for some who are struggling to just have one.

However, that being said, I think some need to back off because until you have walked in that persons shoes you have no idea what has gone on or who that person is. My goodness.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 9:29am
Although I think you were wrong in what you did I am not going to sit here and bash you. Whats the sense of getting mad at my computer screen KWIM?!?! Also I have lived by if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all. If you have another child and keep it, I think thats going to put a strain on the relationship you will have with your DS after he is of age. For further threads, I wouldnt post about anything so serious in my life on the web. What you put on the web stays on the web.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2008
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 7:52pm

I've struggled on whether or not I should write, but I am just afraid I can't bite my tongue any longer.

Hugs, Mika & Liam
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 12:56pm
I'm new to this board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2009
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 11:05am
Ok, so I know this thread is kinda dead and I don't want to rehash anything. I just want to say that I am a child that was given up for adoption because my mother chose her man over me. Her new man didn't want to support a "bastard" child (my parents got a divorce). Anyways, long story short - I've been in and out of therapy forever and I'll always seek the love and approval from my mother that I've never gotten... sucks, eh?