DH giving mixed messages! grrrr

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
DH giving mixed messages! grrrr
22
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 1:17pm

I haven't been posting lately.

Erin

McKenna 7 yrs

Liam 10 months

Baby EDD Nov 30

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 1:54pm

My 2 cents is that he does know what the risks are.

ME 34 SO 31 TTC #1 since September/08 First appointment with RE October/10 HSG November/10 - Left tube blocked Unblocked March 17/11 Fimbriae are gone though SA December/10 - 1% Morphology Swim Up SA January 2011 - Morphology is 13% doctor says is
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 2:42pm
He could be one that doesn't like the pressure.
Expecting

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 3:13pm

I am also one of the ladies with an easily stressed husband. He's always trying to make everything perfect for me and gets his kickers in a knot if it doesn't go to his plan and then everything spirals....urgh.

I don't temp or any of that stuff either because it would make him antsy...so I agree with the advice of the ladies, try to obsess privately ...or come here and obsess with us...lol.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 4:26pm

Thank you everyone for your afirmation that some men are that way.

Erin

McKenna 7 yrs

Liam 10 months

Baby EDD Nov 30

 

 

Avatar for enosk
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 5:01pm
Sorry for your frustration with DH's mixed signals, our DH's should talk!!
bPhotobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 9:26pm

I was in your shoes only 3 months ago.


Julie, Wife to Bobby & Mommy to Charlie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 12:34am

WOW! does this sound familiar or what! i think every couple that TTC- seriously- goes through this on one side or the other.

=^_^=Sara Jade

Pyzam Family Sticker Toy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 12:46am

Hello Ladies,

I don't think I have a single friend who wants to have a baby, whose DH really wants one too. It took me two years to get mine to agree, and only after totally bearing my soul to him about what it means for me, and what it will mean for me if we don't. We have 2 sons already, 8 and 5, and we were not "trying" with either of them. My DH and I finally had to come to some compromises in which we both had to give a little. Much of what it came down to for him was about financial issues, stability, and security. It sounds like this is common with many of our DHs :) However, I felt strongly that in order to preserve the trust and integrity of our marriage, it was absolutely essential that he be "on board" with TTC. So, we have been waiting for nearly 6 months, using charting as BC during that time. This is our first cycle TTC (and I O'd 3 days ago!!!), and I have been very forthcoming about taking my temps, etc. In fact, I think the fact that I started charting-taking temps, recording CM, etc-was good preparation for him. Now, if I don't hear my alarm go off he will roll over and remind me to take my temp. I think it's been good "conditioning" for him. That said, if I said that I changed my mind and didn't want to try for another, he wouldn't argue.
It's comforting to hear of so many other similar experiences, though I wish none of us had them! I wish that this desire was as strong for them as it is for us, but it isn't always. Nevertheless, I think in order to foster a truly honest, loving, and respectful relationship, you have to be transparent and honest with each other. That means being willing to hear his honest feelings and opinions, too (difficult as it often can be), just as you have all said you have been. In the end, I don't think it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Trust just doesn't work that way. Complete honesty can be very difficult at times, and I know this from experience, but in a healthy relationship it is essential.
Good luck to us all as we navigate these difficult areas with our DHs! Thank God we have each other to share these things with.

Best,
BB

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 01-05-2009 - 10:54am
Can I just say that you women are so strong and supportive and I really appreciate your input.

Erin

McKenna 7 yrs

Liam 10 months

Baby EDD Nov 30

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2009
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 8:24am

You know i was kind of in a situation as well. I had been telling my Hubby that i wanted another child for like 6 months...ok. he said No way.. not going to happen... Then all of a sudden at the start of the year, I told him again, and just persisted everyday, like i was mad or something...lol

So eventually Last Week, he said OK... Im like OK???
I said What made you change your mind... He said i Want to Make you Happy and If thats what will make you Happy, then Lets go for it. Also, he said he would like another little one:)

I WAS SO HAPPY!!!!

Now i dont have to sneak around and get the tests, and plan:)

He even Let me buy one of the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor's...

Just thought id add my little story in.. He made me so Happy:)

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