DH says we are done but I don't want to be!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
DH says we are done but I don't want to be!!
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 8:31pm

Hi ladies,

I haven't been on this board since TTC my last child about 3 years ago. My DH and I have 2 sons, ages 8 and almost 6 and really wanted a girl. I begged him to try one more time and we thankfully were blessed with my daughter who is now 2 1/2. I swore up and down that if I ever got my girl I'd be done. But now that she's getting out of that baby stage I'm gettting that urge again. It doesn't help that I just turned 39. It also doesn't help that I just got a new job after being out of work for 6 months! But I look at my daughter and her dolls and she's a really girly girl and I feel a bit sad that she's got

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 12:13pm
That sucks that you & dh aren't on the same page. I totally understand wanting another baby, but bringing another baby into the mix needs to be a mutual decision. Dh does bring up a rational point with finances -perhaps if you look at the finances & show him that another baby wouldn't break the bank, then it might help change his mind.

I think it might be a good idea to explore counseling options. It sounds like you are already beginning to resent hubs & bottling up your emotions isnt good for you or your family.

Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 2:34pm

You're not nuts. You know in your gut if you want another child. I'm sure your family is lovely and satisfying. It sounds like you just don't feel like it's complete. Hopefully DH comes around. A word of advice though... if you have another kid, it won't be DD's playmate. She'll be 3 1/2 - 4 by the time another one came. My kids are 3 years and 10 months apart, they have a love/hate relationship and

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 10:22am

I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't give up on him yet. My DH is 20 years older that I am and when we first got together he told me that he didn't anymore kids.(His are 19 and 24 now). He finally gave in and we had our now 3 year old DS and he loves him to death and I was happy to get a baby I never thought I'd have with him. Still, I couldn't get over my baby fever and would talk to him off and on about having one more but like your DH, he wanted nothing to do with it-spouting the same reasons-finances, happy with the kids he has, blah blah blah-then add his age(48) and I thought we were done for sure...A month ago(after 3 years of waiting for him to come around)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 2:15pm

Please don't listen to anything regarding the age gap between siblings. I really think whether siblings get along has more to do with personality.