Do you ever feel like you don't have a fighting chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Do you ever feel like you don't have a fighting chance?
10
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 11:32pm
Well, that's how I feel tonight. I wasn't supposed to even be trying this month. DH was supposed to be out of town for work so I had already declared that this month was going to be used for a much needed break. BUT...his trip got called off, so.... I still wanted to treat this as a laid back month. I honestly don't even know when I officially O'd. But, here I am, at least a week before I think AF should be due, and Spot enters the picture. Again. Like she does every month. The past 2 months have been earlier than usual. I've done everything I know to do. I've called my doctor. I've had tests run...twice. I feel like I've already bugged the pants off of them. I've tried B6, taken prenatals, watched caffeine, watched my diet, etc. I just feel like I don't have a chance of getting pregnant as long as this spotting is happening. Tonight, I've been in a horrible mood, shed some tears, and now I'm going to bed. I just needed to vent. Thanks to anyone who's read this much. I hope the rest of you have a better month than me!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003

I just wish I could give you hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Suz, I was wondering where you were. I sure didn't want to find you under this header :-( I wish I had answers for you. I'm sure that this is really taking it's toll on you. It just isn't right that something that you should be able to take for granted is so hard for some of us.

Is there any way you can go for a second opinion? Sometimes a fresh set of eyes can do wonders.

I am here for you no matter how much you need to vent. I'm also here if you just need me to do a dance for you too.

Big (((HUGS)))

Laura

ME 34 SO 31 TTC #1 since September/08 First appointment with RE October/10 HSG November/10 - Left tube blocked Unblocked March 17/11 Fimbriae are gone though SA December/10 - 1% Morphology Swim Up SA January 2011 - Morphology is 13% doctor says is
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003

Well I figured out what is going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Thanks girls. I just feel like that if i were only greeted by AF each month to tell me I'm not pregnant, and not this precursor of brown spotting for days, then I could take it better. I don't understand why its happening, and test results don't give me answers, so its very frustrating. I feel like my body doesn't even give anything time to implant. It is so very frustrating.

I'm sorry AF is knocking, Amy. Isn't it just mean how our bodies can play tricks on us?

Laura, I feel like I shouldn't complain much after all you've been through. Thank you so much for your support and advice. It really means a lot!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Blah, don't think for a minute you can't vent to me! We can't compare our journeys to other people's. Everyone has their own individual trials and tribulations and they shouldn't be discounted. I don't think you are complaining at all! You are trying to get answers and vent - which is exactly what this site is for.

I hear you about if it were just AF, but spot is BS! I actually asked my RE at my last appointment "Are you sure I don't have any signs of endo, pcos or fibroids?" He started laughing with me and asked me if I would be happier with one of those diagnosis than 'unexplained'. I said "YES, at least if we knew what was wrong we would know what to treat and what treatments work best for that condition."

Your support and encouragement has meant a lot to me too!
ME 34 SO 31 TTC #1 since September/08 First appointment with RE October/10 HSG November/10 - Left tube blocked Unblocked March 17/11 Fimbriae are gone though SA December/10 - 1% Morphology Swim Up SA January 2011 - Morphology is 13% doctor says is
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
*DISLIKE*

You know I know exactly how you feel. I would love to *just* be greeted by af. It's just so freaking disheartening to know you're already out & frustrating to hold out any hope that maybe this time is implantation. Scream, vent, cry, stomp & rant all you want.

I second getting a second opinion. Maybe it's time to pursue options other than just bloodwork to find out potential causes -perhaps cysts or fibroids? Who really knows. I don't see see the RE again til July so we'll see what they have in store for me since the HSG came back fine.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Thanks, Laura. You are right. Its hard to who want something so much, but have such a hard time getting it. No matter what our individual problems are, we can always lean on each other all the same. I'm glad we can be there for each other! Its one thing to vent at home, but its different to talk to someone who actually knows how I feel. :)

Angela, I know you feel the same way each month. So yeah, I'm going to throw a toddler size "its not fair" tantrum for now. ;) Last time I talked to my doc, she did say that the next step would be a HSG, but I could decide if/when we go that route. I go for my yearly pap Sept 1, so I may give it a few more months and discuss that option with her then. So...you say it wasn't that bad?? What exactly did they do if you don't mind me asking?
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2011
I"m so sorry that you are feeling defeated :( They tested your progesterone levels during the LP? I'm no expert, but from what I've read it sort of sounds like a progesterone problem, which is highly treatable! Maybe it's time for a new doc or an appt with an RE...
Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
You know how much I love throwing down a toddler sized tantrum!!! Lol ;)

As for the progesterone, both Suz & I have had the 7dpo bloodwork done & levels have come back in the normal range. Suz, since yours were lower perhaps an option could be adding some OTC progesterone cream to maybe give it a little boost? It's something you could mention to the dr since I know how you feel about adding new stuff to the fanny pak. My progesterone levels are actually really high (higher than some ladies early pg levels) so unfortunately it's not always as easy as adding extra progesterone to combat spot...

The HSG is done b/w af to O -I've heard they sometimes have a cut off of cd 10. No bd'ing before hand & it's pretty much like a pap except after the speculum they insert the dye. There is discomfort when it goes through the cervix but I just focused on relaxing & doing my best yoga breathing :) It's really quick & you have answers ASAP. I took Tylenol before & didn't have any major cramping afterwards either. It did affect my O though -I usually O cd 11 (HSG was cd10) & my temps have been off ever since. Luckily for you, you have a later O so chances are good that any anxiety you feel about it wouldnt carry over to your O date.

I say ask for it now. It's scary to think about taking the next step, but I do feel better about knowing it came back normal...
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2011

Suz,

I'm sorry that you are going through this! I know it is frustrating I will stomp my feet over here with you!!!