Frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
Frustrated
2
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 5:17pm

I was afraid this would happen. I had EWCM 2 days ago...none that I saw yesterday. CP is med/low and soft today & I saw EWCM again today. We're leaving for a camping trip w/my family today, so we decided we'd BD before leaving. Well, DH just couldn't "get there". He said he'd either feel nothing or it hurt. I wanted to cry, but I held it in. He hasn't gotten much sleep lately, so he's taking a nap and we're gonna try again and just not worry about getting to the campsite *on time*. He wasn't feeling rushed for time, but I kinda was (not that I was telling HIM that). I think he just needs sleep *fingers crossed*.

I was feeling so relaxed and happy today...now I want to break down. And I know feeling stressed will make things all the more difficult for us to get pg. And the vicious cycle goes on....

I'm hoping that venting about this and getting it out of my system will help me relax. I don't have anyone I can talk to about it and talking about things is how I cope & get over stuff.

-Kenna
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
In reply to: pricklypear08
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 7:05pm

Hugs! This is rough for you, but I suspect it's probably rough for him as well. Most men are pretty upset when this happens to them...I know my DH has been really upset on the few occasions he was not able to make it happen. I think you should explore more about why he "either felt nothing or it hurt." That is not normal and you should figure out why that's happening. Why does it hurt and how does it hurt? Maybe this is just a case of needing to try different positions, or maybe there is a health issue that needs to be addressed.
I know this is cliche...but communication really is everything in a relationship. Early in our relationship, my DH and I would have what we called "AARs." An AAR in Army-speak stands for "After Action Review." So we basically critiqued our love making sessions, lol. It wasn't ever a personal critique...but it was like, "I wasn't really crazy about that position. It felt like you were hitting something weird. But I really liked when you did..." See what I mean? This helped me to know what to do so it was more pleasurable for him, and likewise. That way, we both got to know each other's bodies really well. I realize not every couple feels this level of comfort. But maybe if you start small and open the door to comments and feedback, he will reciprocate and you can figure out what's going on so you can fix it and get pregnant.

good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

Becca
Proud mama of
Wes, 7
and Cade, 2
TTC #3
Becca
Baby #3 due March 23, 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
In reply to: pricklypear08
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 7:10pm

Thanks :) We did talk about it while driving to the campsite. He admitted that he thinks he was psyching himself out and putting too much pressure on himself. I saw EWCM that day, and he knew that & knew that it means O is coming. He was worried we'd miss the window if he didn't finish. However, I still have EWCM and my temp has not spiked yet, so we're good.

Aaand, our camping trip was cut short due to rain...sad, but also good because now we can BD in the comfort of our own home, haha!

I think he's talked to a dr about it. The doc didn't seem to be concerned. I personally just think he psychs himself out...even if he doesn't think he is, subconsciously I think he does it more than he realizes. I think if it continues for several consecutive nights, I might push for him to go to a dr again.

-Kenna
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