He's not ready-- I AM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2009
He's not ready-- I AM
7
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 5:27pm

my bf is not quite ready for a baby. I am SOOOO ready that it kills me.


We've discussed and i've lost too many times to count. I was on the pill... now im not, but we are still using withdrawal. And im charting (he does not knowa).


Any advice? I sound like a horrible person, i know, but hes in his 30's, im almost 30, and its getting rediculous...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 5:48pm

As far as my DH was concerned he was never going to be ready.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 6:19pm

My fiance wasn't as on board in the beginning either.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 8:27pm

Thank you girls. Both of you are completly right. I actually have had talks with him and he wants to wait longer... he definately wants kids, and we talk about them all the time and make plans too.


It's just that i am a 'right now' person and hes a more laid back person. Furthermore he doesnt see the rush, whereas i would like a bigger family (3+) and know that having my first baby at 30 might make this difficult (definatly possible tho).


I know being off bc without telling him is not right. Last mnth i decided to see if i could have a regular cycle (i had very irregular cycles and am overweight, so i wanted to see if i even WOULD ovulate... since ive never checked!).


The godd news is, i think i ovulated. The bad news is that now I want a baby even more and dont want to go back on bc.


DONT GET ME WRONG-- I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS WITHOUT HIM... but maybe this is my way of babystepping..


or am i complelty crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 9:34pm
My husband didn't want another baby, I didn't give him the option... I am now 4 weeks pregnant, and he's coming around to the idea lol.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 4:16am
Yeah I'm in the same boat as you. A week and a half before AF I asked hubby about it after us moving into a house and being settled in and stuff. We even had a fight over this whole baby thing. He said he would be disappointed if I came up preg right now.yeah! Wanna know how long we have been together? 6 in a half YEARS. i dont know how to approach him anymore on the subject. I see so many having them sum are working on their 3rd or 4th and I get my husband saying he would be disappointed and doesnt want one. He thinks i pressure him when i talk about it. what gives. he says its becuz he isnt ready.he is 25 im 27. my clock has been ticking in my head since he got hurt in iraq. that was 4 yrs ago and he still wants to say that he wants to wait til he is 28/ i dont want a childfree living. I was so hoping that i was preg this time but sadly af came to shut me down. best of luck to you.hope your man comes around. as long as you have a great relationship, your both working and stable there shouldnt be much to say.my opinion is life is too short to just sit by and wait. sick of waiting for my child to come into my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 8:34am

It is hard when one of you wants something so bad it hurts, and the other is almost against it as much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 5:21pm

I am glad that other people have felt this way. And in order to make myself less evil, i would like to say that i KNOW be will be ready to BD next year (i