Hubby Takes Too Long To Climax

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2009
Hubby Takes Too Long To Climax
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 8:59am

Alright, I'm sure I've entered the "too much information" zone of this board, but I'm feeling quite a bit of frustration these days and need somewhere to vent.

My husband and I have been TTC since no luck so far.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 9:42am

First off, I wouldn't worry about being "TMI." We are all here to help each other! I have a few ideas you could try that have worked for me. Talk about TMI. Ladies, don't read on if you know this kind of stuff bothers you.

First, does he respond to oral? Sometimes just to mix it up I'll tell my guy that I'm going to get him almost all the way there orally and when he gets close to the point of no return, to let me know and then we switch to intercourse so he can finish. You could probably do this the old fashion manual stimulation way but I find that hard to do without lube, which is a no-no for TTC (except for preseed, which is fabulous, but doesn't have the long lasting quality you need for manual stimulation).

This next idea works for me and other girls I've talked to. If it gets to that point where it is taking forever and you just want to get it over with already, try pushing down the same way you'd push if having a bm or removing a tampon. Sometimes the pressure of bearing down gives them that little extra push over the edge and will get them there a lot faster. The only caveat is that you have to stop bearing down when he starts to climax so you don't push out semen. That shouldn't effect anythign though because once they hit that point of no return you're good to go anyway.

Another idea - have you tried nipple stimulation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 10:55am

I have to agree with PP about the nipple stimulation. My DH goes crazy with it! Well anything really but that's something totally different. I also agree with trying the Preseed. (Sperm friendly lube) I've read that if you cannot find it locally you can try to use egg whites, which also help with keeping the swimmers alive in our harsh climates. Definitely try playing around with him before settling in to the deed. More foreplay can equal less friction burns for you.



Furmom to Morgan. Almost furmom to Oscar and Bengal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 11:19am

When my hubby and I were trying, we had the same problem. I have a condition called vestibular adenitis, which basically means sex hurts no matter what

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 11:24am
I second the oral motion :D...I had a boyfriend years ago that had the same problem due to some meds he was taking. We weren't ttc or anything, but it definitely made me sore after a while and put a damper on things. I found that if it was taking forever and I started to get too sore, a little oral did the trick.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 2:41pm

Thanks for all the advice guys!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2009
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 10:18pm

this month has been a complete disaster.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 11:44pm
my husband and i used to have the same problem. one thing that really does help us is to fool around all day without having sex. even on a regular basis he takes FOREVER! sometimes he doesnt even finish at all. but then we started getting more playful while he was home and BOOM! guess who pops up pregnant for the 3rd time in 2 years. and apparently it happened on my birthday. The one thing i asked NOT to get this year because we already have an 18 month old daughter and what a handful!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 6:50pm
I lurk on this board but i wanted to actually post and say you are not alone. This is one of our issues. When we aren't ttc we normally only have sex a few times a month so trying to BD several times in a few day span is very hard for us. Dh doesn't finish all the time and I find myself becoming resentful. I've tried taking a step back to ttc for a while and I know that one of these months he will finish when the timing is right. For what its worth the month we got pg with DD we started with oral sex then I jumped on right before he climaxed.


Amy Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2009
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 8:59pm

Apparently this is a more common problem than you might think.


TTC 14 Months


My Ovulation Chart

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 10:55am

All of TTC is TMI...LOL.