I think I am throwing in the towel!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
I think I am throwing in the towel!!!!!!
8
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 1:23am

Well as I get closer to the 18 month mark I am realising that maybe we are just not ment to have another baby. It is heart breaking looking back as a little girl and dreaming of 4 kids...But after concieveing the 3 we have with little effort and now being that my husband and I are both in the best shape and weight since having our first child, we are puzzled as to why we cannot concieve. I have driven myself crazy for months charting and watching every little detail only to be devistated when AF shows. Everyone around me, including my sister, is coming up pregnant unplanned and I am ready to quit....So today I went through a ton of my baby stuff so that I can give it all to my sister. Both docs I have been to say they cant see anything wrong in my blood work and just wait 6 more months..I can't see if it hasnt happened yet what is going to change in the next 6 months. we are just wasting more time and I am at my end. I have, in the last few months, quit charting cause it was making me crazy. I am trying really hard not to worry and to relax. take some time for myself. So now I think I just need to move on and focus on something new for my life and if it happens it happens..

thank you for listening to my vent it does help to get your frustrations out from time to ime..lol

you ladies have been a huge support, I mostly lurk, but from time to time when I have posted you have been great. thank you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Becky, I am so sorry. It's so hard to be met with disappointment month after month. My first 3 were conceived easily as well and now w/2 obvious miscarriages and positive tests last month and still getting my period I can't help but wonder maybe this really just isnt going to happen...we're about to the 12 month mark now, done lots of tests, etc. I just want you to know you're not alone and I also feel like if "I keep doing what I've been doing I'm just going to keep getting the same result." But since we moved across country in June, I had to find a new dr...and so far I don't like her, and she doesn't seem willing to try anything new, like my old dr was. Not that I'm ready to even do anything per se, but at least my old dr had ideas. Hang in there, I hope you get that positive test soon. I think you're right in trying to take some time for yourself, trying to relax. I know it's easier said than done, but I need to start trying to do that more too. Oh, and i stopped charting too after my m/c in May b/c I think it was making me anxious and the 2ww would take forever, now it's so much better. Here's to finding a new focus while our bodies figure out how to make a baby again! ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine going through this for 18+ months. Do what you think is best for you and your family. Who knows, maybe once you "give up," it will happen! :-)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 12:34am

Thank you so much for your support...It gives me some hope that I am not the only one here in the same boat..It is so frustrating to have to wait. It is hard to think everymonth maybe this is it and for AF to show up..at least now she comes on time rather than way sooner. I think we are going to get some fertiliaid this month and start taking that and see where we get. I was thinking we need to get my DH tested, we did the at home seman test and he kinda felt wierd about it and I dont think it went well any way it came back neg, but I found out it will cost us 150 bucks so I think we will try the vitamins first and see how that goes for a few months and then at the first of the year go do the test for him. Yes, trying to relax is hard to do but I guess that is about all we can do at this point..I hope you have better luck with your doctor, I am so frustrated with docs at this point. my OBGYN tells me that he wont even get worried till 18months so I went to another doc and she ran bloodwork on my kidneys and liver??? and of course everything was normal and she said well I guess you need to just wait and see...that is not what i wanted to hear of course...Good Luck.. I think chartin is overrated..lol...now that I know when I O and that I seem to be Oing it just makes me crazy analyzing my temps every day.

Anyway thank you for your support, I hope things work out for you...I hope you get a sticky BFP soon...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Becky this sucks :(

*trying to relax* is hard -it's not like we can just forget all the ttc stuff we've picked up along the way. Oh well -maybe throwing in the towel is just what you need to get the job done! Wishing you nothing but the best :)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007

I never come on here anymore but like to check on you few faces I know.

Photobucket No tickers means no keepin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 12:24pm
Hey Amy! I was wondering how you were doing. Enjoy your little ones & maybe an extra glass or 2 of wine ;)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Hey Aimee, nice to hear from you! I have been tempted to go back on the pill for the sheer fact I cannot stand AF and I've never had to deal with real AF's for this long....I was on the pill forever, then only went off for a month each time before I got preggo w/my other kids. Real AF's are the worst!! I'm glad you're feeling ok about things. I know what you mean...my youngest turns 3 in 2 months and the bigger the age gap seemingly gets between a perspective 4th child, I keep thinking...this would be so much easier if I could just be at peace with being done at 3 kids! :) Take care and hope to hear from you again sometime!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 11:25pm
Well I have also wondered how you were...I knew you went on break over the summer but never saw you come back. yes, I too have thought about going back on BCp...but then thought whats the point....Ya my baby will be 3 in febuary..it will be very different for me to not have a baby by her third birthday.....I hope things go well for you and everything works out for you as well...It is so hard to keep my chin up and stay positive...