I think it may be official (mc)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
I think it may be official (mc)
21
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 6:09pm

Hi all, I came home today to see a big brown area on my underwear and I think I feel some slight period-like cramps so I think my little bean has finally given up. I know that brown bleeding can be okay in most pregnancies, but mine was already not looking good and the doc was convinced it wasn't viable so I think this may be it's time to go.

I'm a little relieved, which feels weird to say. I think it's because I knew from the start that it was not likely to be viable and I was fretting over the possibility of another d and c (had one already with another loss 4 years ago) and was also nervous about the pills to induce a m/c so I guess I'm thinking that if it happens naturally, it will be the best thing (for me). I also have been having a hard time being stuck in 'limbo' with a pg that medical professionals were implying would never work out but I just kept having to wait until something happened one way or another.

Who knows, my emotions will probably be all over the map during this experience, but I just wanted to update for those of you so kind to have been following me in this process. I may go in to see the doctor tomorrow so maybe that will give me more information.

Of course my only sanity-saver is to think about 'trying again' and dear god, hopefully it will be successful. I guess that means I would be back here in late sept or early october. I will be 40 in early october, too-no pressure there! :O

averi

TTC 2 Journey
10 mos ttc naturally (all bfn)
June cycle-clomid 100 mg day 5-9 (a bust)
Clomid round two 100mg June 25-July 2 (day 4-11)
July 8t Follie check-two huge ones, trigger shot that day
July 18 10dpo-faint BFP
July 22 First beta 55
July 24 Second beta 86 (yikes)
July 26 Third beta 183 (yay!)
July 28 Fourth beta 387 (yay!)
July 30 Fifth beta 653 (ohhhh)
Aug 2 Sixth beta-RE hoping for 1500, but only 1302
Aug 5 First u/s :O Measuring very, very small. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 13 Second u/s @ 7wks. Gest sac has hardly grown in 8 days, but we have h/b. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 23 Third U/S
TTC 2 Journey 10 mos ttc naturally with Met (all bfn) June 2010 back on clomid 100mg x 7 days-BFP! M/C August 4 more rounds of clomid (3 w/ IUI) all BFN March clomid plus injectables -BFN April = natural cycle May back to clomid plus injectables

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 7:23pm
I'm so sorry!!!
Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 7:38pm

I am so sorry that this is happening again. When I was PG going through beta hell and whatnot, I never thought that being PG would be that stressful. I keep on hearing that it can be more stressful than ttc. I mean stressful in a different way. TTC is brutal too and so is having a miscarriage. We can't win, can we?

My thoughts are with you during this hard time. It really stinks...

Christy
TTC 1st child since 2006
June 16, 2010: IUI w/ Femara BFP (Ectopic - Methotrexate shot) RE sidelined me until November cycle for next IUI :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 7:52pm
Averi - I am so sorry you have to go through this again. I hope the best for you and if the lo is not viable you find peace with it all. Kup!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 7:55pm


Averi, I really hope this is just meaningless (but stressful!) spotting and not a sign of impending m/c, but if it does end in that, I hope you don't experience too much physical pain. I'm just so sorry you are dealing with this, and hope that it has a happy result.

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:12pm

I'm so sorry to hear this, Averi. I know you've not been hopeful for a long time, but I'm sure it's still hard on you. I'm praying for the best for you--please take care of yourself and keep us posted.

Hugs,

Becca

Becca
Baby #3 due March 23, 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 9:08pm

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone. I am cramping more now, although not much has passed yet (I have no idea what to expect!). I have been lying on the heating pad and it does give some relief. I have an u/s appt at 9am tomorrow so we'll see what they find. (bummer it's not my doctor. it's her non-warm partner). I am sure that this is pending m/c since I never had period-like cramps with my dd.

Christy, you are so right. TTC *is* brutal! Losses are horrible tragedies to go through, but ttc (esp extended ttc) is so incredibly stressful. I am stressed when my body doesn't respond to the clomid, I'm stressed when I get bfn's, I'm stressed if I'm pg (because then I'm worried) and I'm definitely stressed to lose one because all the hopes and planning (and developmental dates you have programmed into your mind) is just gone. Not to mention, my age also plays a factor into my stress level when I go through a loss. We all deserve medals for going through this torture every month :O

I *really* appreciate being able to talk about all this with you so thank you for your time and support. I'll post more after tomorrow.

averi

TTC 2 Journey
10 mos ttc naturally (all bfn)
June cycle-clomid 100 mg day 5-9 (a bust)
Clomid round two 100mg June 25-July 2 (day 4-11)
July 8t Follie check-two huge ones, trigger shot that day
July 18 10dpo-faint BFP
July 22 First beta 55
July 24 Second beta 86 (yikes)
July 26 Third beta 183 (yay!)
July 28 Fourth beta 387 (yay!)
July 30 Fifth beta 653 (ohhhh)
Aug 2 Sixth beta-RE hoping for 1500, but only 1302
Aug 5 First u/s :O Measuring very, very small. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 13 Second u/s @ 7wks. Gest sac has hardly grown in 8 days, but we have h/b. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 23 Third U/S
TTC 2 Journey 10 mos ttc naturally with Met (all bfn) June 2010 back on clomid 100mg x 7 days-BFP! M/C August 4 more rounds of clomid (3 w/ IUI) all BFN March clomid plus injectables -BFN April = natural cycle May back to clomid plus injectables
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 8:08am

Averi- my thoughts and prayers are with you today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 2:10pm

Oh Averi, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'll continue to think positive thoughts that everything turns out well. And if this bean doesn't stick, I truly hope you get a sticky bean soon. I cannot express enough how sad I am for you, but have so much hope. This journey is a tough one, but it's totally worth it. Best of luck at your ultrasound today and no matter the outcome, know you have so many "sisters" here to support you.

Thinking of you,
Chrissi







TTC Baby #3 - Cycle #10








Forever missing our little girls

Avery (06.23.09 - 06.27.09)

Cameryn (06.23.09 - 06.24.09)


TTTSNW.ORG - Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Northwest: For Our Babies





TTC Baby #3 - Cycle #15


Forever missing our

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Sun, 08-22-2010 - 7:30am
So sorry to hear this. I've been watching



 


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Sun, 08-22-2010 - 12:02pm

Oh gosh, so sorry to hear you've had a loss, too. I know, I so feel the pressure. I'm trying to not beat myself up for waiting so long to go back to my RE (ie like I wasted 9 mos ttc naturally until I switched in may to the doctor-assisted). Oh well, I did the best I could I guess.

Are you ttc next cycle? I'm bummed I have to wait until Oct, but my dd was conceived in oct so maybe I'll get lucky again in oct. ;)

baby dust!

:)

TTC 2 Journey
10 mos ttc naturally (all bfn)
June cycle-clomid 100 mg day 5-9 (a bust)
Clomid round two 100mg June 25-July 2 (day 4-11)
July 8t Follie check-two huge ones, trigger shot that day
July 18 10dpo-faint BFP
July 22 First beta 55
July 24 Second beta 86 (yikes)
July 26 Third beta 183 (yay!)
July 28 Fourth beta 387 (yay!)
July 30 Fifth beta 653 (ohhhh)
Aug 2 Sixth beta-RE hoping for 1500, but only 1302
Aug 5 First u/s :O Measuring very, very small. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 13 Second u/s @ 7wks. Gest sac has hardly grown in 8 days, but we have h/b. Dr not very hopeful.
Aug 20 Spotting and cramping, u/s tomorrow.
TTC 2 Journey 10 mos ttc naturally with Met (all bfn) June 2010 back on clomid 100mg x 7 days-BFP! M/C August 4 more rounds of clomid (3 w/ IUI) all BFN March clomid plus injectables -BFN April = natural cycle May back to clomid plus injectables

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