MY 13 YEAR OLD DD HAS A BFF THAT IS PG

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
MY 13 YEAR OLD DD HAS A BFF THAT IS PG
19
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 9:47am

OK THIS A LONG AND SAD STORY . I WATCH AND LISTEN TO MY DD ALL THE TIME I EVEN LISTEN WHILE SHE IS ON THE PHONE SOME TIMES . WELL I HERD HER TALKINGABOUT APG FRIEND FOR ABOUT A MONTH NOW . TILL LAST WEEK SHE COMES TO ME AND SAYS MOM MY BFF IS 3 MONTHS PG . I FREEKED. SO WE GOT INTO THE CONVERSATION OF DOES THAT MEAN U ARE DOING IT ( YES ) SHE SAYS R U USING PROTECTION( NO ) I DIDNT THE FIRST TIME . FIRST TIME HOW MAQNY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE IT 3 HOW MANY BOYS 2. THEN I TELL HER I WILL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR HER FIRST OB GYN AND SHE WILL GET THE DEPO SHOT, WELL WE GO AND IM SEEING THE DOCK TO HAVE A BABY AND SHE IS SEEING THE DOCK TO AVOID PG. SO DOCK SAYS SHE CANT GETDEPO SHOT BECAUSE SHE IS OVER WEIGHTAND ITWILL CAUSE HER TO GAIN MORE AND HER EARLY DIABIETIES WILL BECOME FULLBLOWN. SO NEXT MONTH SHE WILL BE GETTING AN IUD AND I WILL BE GETTING MYSECOND PART OF BLOOD WORK DONE THE AFTER O PART.


NOW HER FRIEND , I ASK MY DD DOES HER MOM KNOW ( N0) GIVE ME HER MOMS CELL NUMBER, MOM I DONT WANT MY BFF TO BE MAD AT ME , WE WILL TELL HER I HERD UR PHONE CALL . WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. (OK ) SHE SAYS. MY DDIS WORRIEDFOR HER BFF . SO I CALLTHE MOM , WELL MOM IS IN AREHAB FOR DRUGS AND WONT BE HOME FOR ANOTHER MONTH AND THANKS ME OVER AND OVER FOR CARING , CARING SO MUCH THATSHE ASKS ME TO TAKE HER DD TO GET AN ABORTION. (OMG) I WASNT THINKING I WOULD HELP THIS MUCH BUT WHAT CAN I DO . SO WE GO VISIT THE MOM. SHE STARTED YELLINGAND CALLING HER DDA PIECE OF TRASH AND ANY OTHER NAME YOU CAN TINNK. I STOP HER AND TELL HER SHE IS ONLY MAKING IT WORSE, AND SHE IS DESTROYING HER DDS SELF ASTEEM. THEN WEGET TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF SHE ASKS ME IF I WILL TAKE HER , TELLS HER DD THAT SHE HAS TO GET IT DONE IF SHE WANTS TO LIVE IN HER HOME. WHAT COULD I DO SHE SAYS THERE IS NO FMILY THAT WILL HELP . THE KID IS 3 MONTHS . SO I AGREE, SO SENCE YESTERDAY THE KID HAS BEEN AT MY HOUSE AND WILL BE HERE FOR ANOTHER WEEK , I GOT THE SCHOOL COUNCELER INVOLVED IM VERY CLOSE WITHE HER TOLD HER THAT ALL 3 GIRLS ARE DOING IT AND THE ONE GIRL IS 3 MONTHS AND THE MOM ASKED ME TO TAKE HER. WE FIND OUT THE LEGAL PART OF IT AND SET UP AN APPOINT MENT FOT 3,12,09. 2 MORE DAYS. MY HEART WANTS TO JUST SAY CARRY THEBABY FULL TERM AND I WILL ADOPT . BUT WHO AM I HOW CAN I . BESIDES SHE IS 13 HER LIFE WILL BE RUIEND , I DONT KNOW IF IM DOING THE RIGHT THING. WHY HAS GOD CHOSEN ME TO HELP HER WITH SUCH A TOUCHY ISSUE. I LOVE TO HELP THE KIDS BUT THIS ISNT GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW. HOWEVER I HAVE TO THINK OF HER . SO I CRIED WHEN WE LEFT THE HOSPTIALFE3ELING HO9PELESS KNOWING I HAVE NO CHOICE SHE HAS NO ONE BUT ME

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 9:59am
Your DD getting pregnant would be the last of my worried... I'd be more worried about STDs! IUDs, Depo, the pill, none of that will prevent STDs... I think she needs a little more talking to about the importance of condoms! (I'm one to talk, I only ever used a condom twice in my life... I got lucky.)

As for the BFF, you never mentioned how she is feeling, what she wants... does she really want to kill her baby... and yes, I mean kill a baby, the baby has a beating heart by now, that baby is starting to look like a baby at this point, aborting it would be wrong IMO...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 10:19am

Hi,


I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2008
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 10:35am

You DD could ruin her life...her getting pregnant would be the last of my worries too! She could get an STD. Clamydia can cause infertility, and HPV (which is NOT curable) can cause disgusting warts and cervical cancer. Among other issues. She really needs a good thorough talking to until she just can't handle listening to it anymore.


About DDs BFF. HAS anybody asked her how she feels? An abortion at this point is murder of a life. And she is pregnant with a baby. It has a beating heart...it is a baby. IMO If I were in your shoes, and I mean in your exact position. I would say absolutely no abortion. Then I would either adopt the baby myself or help her find a family to adopt the baby. That's what I would do. An abortion is risky and can destroy her reporductive organs just like an std can. This should be a very carefully considered decision. I can't believe that God would put you in this situation to help kill a living person.


I hope you aren't too offended by my response but you asked for opinions and I just thought I'd lend my thoughts. HTH! Good Luck with this difficult time!

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

TTC - unexplained infertility
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 11:32am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 11:50am
BUMP
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 12:17pm
ahh man this is such a touchy topic...i mean u want to say this is going to ruin her life, but i truly think at this point its the baby your hurting and the one we need to talk about...there are so many families that woud love to adopt a baby...i cant think of any reason to have this abortion...this baby is alive and growing..maybe if she got to hear the heartbeat at the OB she would understand that..if i were you, i would talk her into seeing the doc and have her keep this baby...second thing i would do is have this b/f arrested for s/r she is a minor for pete's sake...how dare he take advantage of this girl..whether it was voluntary on her part i dont care..she is a minor and obviously not mature enough to make a good decision...i feel horrible for you to have to be put in this situation...
Ovulation ticker





Lilypie 21 - 37 day cycle Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 1:32pm

I feel for your situation right now, you are definately stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 1:44pm

Here are some other message boards that might be able to help out more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 2:42pm

All I can say is that I hope everyone involved does the right thing. IMHO that is to give that precious baby up for adoption. My Dh and I have one miracle child together and after 2 years of TTC discovered that more bio children are not possible. We have since started the adoption process, though we know it will be a long time before a baby is placed in our arms.

So many pg women/girls are able to discard their babies these days while so many loving, stable couples like me and my DH want a child so badly that everyday it HURTS. I would take that baby in a heartbeat. I really hope you encourage that girl to choose a wonderful couple to give her baby the life that she can't. Two wrongs truly don't make a right and I believe abortion would be a very poor solution.

Praying for this situation.

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Allison 1/3/09
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Tue, 03-10-2009 - 2:43pm

(((HUGS)))


First I want to say that I commend you for how you're dealt with your DD.

ME 34 SO 31 TTC #1 since September/08 First appointment with RE October/10 HSG November/10 - Left tube blocked Unblocked March 17/11 Fimbriae are gone though SA December/10 - 1% Morphology Swim Up SA January 2011 - Morphology is 13% doctor says is

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