I'm so sorry. You are right, you will heal and move past it, I know that from experience. And as far as the positive tests, if the home tests popped positive, a blood test at that time would have, too. Sometimes it just doesn't stick or nature takes action if something is wrong. Never really helped me feel better at the moment, but I do try and have faith that sometimes my body does do/know what is best.
I hope you get back to TTC.
Thanks for your positive thoughts. I will continue ttc, I just won't make any assumptions until I see the lil one on the screen. I don't feel so so bad bcuz I'm suppose to O next saturday not that far away.