Rant---Beware my little pity party!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Rant---Beware my little pity party!
7
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:28am

Well,I thought I would post down here under vents and spare my buddy group from listening to my ranting. Need to get it off my chest though!

Yesterday for Mother's Day(I have one 3yr old DD) we were supposed to have a nice dinner here at our place. My mom, her boyfriend, my brother, bro's very preggo gf, and DH and DD. I cooked and cleaned all day Saturday and Sunday morning. I made homemade sauce, meatballs, a large antipasto salad....

Sunday morning I wake up to find DH gone and a part of me thought maybe he had run out to get my Mom's Day card or breakfast. I got up to find a note that he got called into work because staff was not scheduled properly. I was a little crestfallen, but figured no biggie. I proceeded about my cleaning and cooking. Then he gets home at 2pm (my family and DD who spent the night at grammas were coming at 4 for dinner)and he takes a quick run with my brother to the store so my brother can get something for his gf since it is her first mother's day. When he gets home, I say "Can I have my card now" and I'm smiling...(I was just teasing him--not actually demanding a card) He tells me "I didn't get you one--you always say you hate to get a card that I just ran out and bought the day of and put no thought into, so I just didn't get one." Well, that was when the dam broke. I immediately start crying and am like---HELLO! I don't want some card you bought the morning of, but what the hell was going on all last week? Mother's Day is the first Sunday in May forever--its not like he didn't know about it. He couldn't have found five minutes to make me a card or have DD color a picture! Well, it just got worse from there. The family was all an hour late for dinner, not one person wished me a Happy Mother's Day, no one even said thanks for dinner.

I went to bed in tears after everyone left. I know this sounds really silly and petty--I just felt so unappreciated. I felt bad crying, because I know my DH felt awful and this is honestly not like him. He is usually very caring and sensitive to my feelings. I know he feels like a heel, but I just couldn't stop the tears. This morning I woke up to a big temp drop too so I am sure AF is due today or tomorrow and that the hag is probably contributing to my PMS and the crying.

Well, sorry for this long rant and to anyone that actually sits here and reads it!

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Thank you to April for the beautiful siggy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:52am

Sandra, I am so sorry yesterday was so bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 11:26am
Thanks Jennifer for posting this and understanding. Him thinking before Sunday and getting the card ahead of time is EXACTLY what I was talking about! On my birthday he threw a card in the cart while we were grocery shopping. I was like--Can you be any more thoughtless! I am standing right here! Guess he took that to mean I don't want any cards...ugh men---can't live with them, can't kill them, right =) It seriously brightened my day that you knew what I meant and why I was upset so thanks alot for reading this and responding, helps to know I am not the only one!
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Thank you to April for the beautiful siggy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:16pm

Oh Sandra you are welcome and I do completely understand. I think men(and families) are just going to be men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 8:05pm

Oh, Sweetie, what a crappy day! I was almost in tears reading about how awful that was. I know what you mean...I had everybody over on Saturday and cooked and cleaned and threw a big party for my son's birthday. It's so much effort and hassle...and it really pisses me off when no one notices and appreciates the effort. I have a great DH too but sometimes he totally blows it. I think it hurts WORSE because he is usually so great that when he screws up, I'm so not expecting it.
Here's a big hug to you...I know it's not Mother's Day any more, but Happy Mother's Day! You are loved and appreciated, even if it's not always shown.

Becca

Becca
Baby #3 due March 23, 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 8:22am

Thanks for your post Becca and Happy Mother's Day to you too! It never ceases to amaze me all the supportive women on this board. I sat husband down last night and really let him know why I was so upset about the whole Mother's Day thing. I did not get all worked up, but tried to explain in a calm way. He said he understood why I was upset and that I had every right to be hurt. He didn't try and make excuses for himself and it felt good to have him validate my feelings. I was like "There's the husband I know and love!" I feel so much better after getting it off my chest to him instead of just burying it as I am sure it would have just resurfaced. I am fairly certain next Mother's Day will be a good one ;)

Thanks again to both you and Jennifer for the kind words....it really lifted my spirits and it convinced me I should settle it with DH.

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Thank you to April for the beautiful siggy!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 8:24pm
Yay! So glad you worked it out and are feeling better!
Becca
Baby #3 due March 23, 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 11:01pm

So glad you guys sat down for a heart to heart.