Rant / Vent (long)
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|Sat, 03-13-2010 - 1:12am|
I’m pretty much a control freak, which I freely admit. I’m a planner, I like to know what I’m getting into and I like to be prepared. So, in thinking about starting a family and ttc, I did all the things that I knew to do. I went to the doctor, the dentist, and got my work and home stuff in order. The doctor orders some tests, everything is fine except I need a second chicken pox shot. OK, that’s fine. I go to get the shot, sit down, roll up my sleeve and … find out that it’s a live virus and can’t even think about ttc for at least a month.
You ladies will, I’m sure, understand the dramatic sink that my stomach took in that moment. I was deflated, and so sad. But I took my medicine, so to speak, and figured I had the dental stuff left to do so suck it up and be a big girl right?
This brings me to my rant and the big fat temper tantrum that I had today. I have been dealing with the dentist for the past 3 months to get all in order that I need to get in order. I did not tell her at the beginning that I was on a path to ttc because … well because I just don’t really feel like advertising my reproductive plans all over the place. Just fix me up and let me be on my merry way! One thing has led to another to another and I swear, every time I go there there’s yet another thing that she needs me to come back for. Replace a filling, walk the root canal gauntlet, oops sorry the dentist isn’t here didn’t you get the message? (sure I get that it happens but it’s still frustrating) and on and on. Today was supposed to be my FINAL appointment – just putting in the permanent crown. Yea! She does her thing and then I hear “ooh, I need to show you something”. Fantastic, right? She shows me a different filling that she wants to replace and, I should come back next week. This would be what, appointment #7?
I am currently 5 dpo and hoping for the best. I remind her that I’m trying to get pregnant and she says, I kid you not “oh not to worry, you won’t get pregnant so soon anyway”. Thanks and thanks for the vote of confidence.
After biting my tongue for a few minutes I lost my temper - not in a big way but in a frustrated, crying, I have two jobs, a commute, I just paid you a bunch of money and you’re continuing to rain on my parade and I can’t take anymore of this kind of way. To which the entire office responded fairly appropriately but it was really too late to unring that bell … I made the appointment which I’m not likely to keep, and left. I called my mother from the parking lot and cried. And to top it off, I’m not happy with the crown.
I guess that when you’re trying to get things going any small molehill can feel like an insurmountable mountain but this was just too much for me. I would have come home and had a glass of wine, but I’ve stopped drinking in hopes of a bfp soon.
Thus ends my rant, which I hope doesn’t sound like too much of a ridiculous pity party. My friends don’t know that we’re ttc and probably wouldn’t understand like I��m hoping that others in the same boat will!
Thanks for listening!