I feel like I am going insane.
It could be just the stress. ((HUGS))
I know what your going thru. After DS2, DH got a vasectomy. DS2cried for 3 years for like 20 hours a day, NO JOKE! I was just fed up we were not getting answers from drs and I couldnt take it anymore. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die! I was going thru major depression! I would never do anything to hurt a child so DH and I decided we did not want to go thru that again. I was going to walmart crying with a baby crying. I have great family but at that time everyone crawled back into the woodwork and would not help me out for just an hour a day or anything. It was like being alone in life with that. To top that off the drs told us our child wouldnt make it out of childhood and for some miracle he did he wont live out of his 20's. He is still with us today. They told me to wake up in the mornings and check to see if my son was still breathing.
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Yeah I know - chances are slim to none.
Well, I hope you and DH decide to get the reversal so you can get that fourth you are looking for!