Is there medical reason for D & C?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Is there medical reason for D & C?
5
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 6:58pm

My midwife's office called again today and told me I should really have one "for emotional health." The receptionist on the phone said she's been through 3 losses herself, and having a D & C is just the easiest way to deal with it quickly. She also said that they would not be doing an u/s to confirm loss, and no more bloodwork, that they'd just do the D & C.

According to the receptionist, I haven't actually miscarried yet. She said my hormones indicate that it will happen. I know it will. But, until it does, I can't bring myself to end the pregnancy myself. I need to see an u/s to confirm no heartbeat before I can make any decisions like that. She doesn't agree. She thinks seeing the u/s will make the decision harder and just wants me to go through with it.

I said I really needed the u/s to get some closure, so she agreed to let me stay on the schedule for next week. She said while I'm there I have to talk to a doctor about getting a D & C. I agreed to talk about my options. I'm not crazy, I know it's over, but ending this with a D & C just seems too close to abortion. My mother doesn't agree, she thinks this just gives me false hope. I know the baby/embryo will die, I just can't bring myself to kill it. I could never have an abortion myself (not judging people that could) and just couldn't live with myself. I'm a very religious person. I can't stop a heartbeat. Plus, I don't agree with unneccessary medical intervention. Medicine is for when I'm actually sick, not to make my life easier. It's just the way I believe.

Am I crazy? Am I putting myself through Hell waiting this out? Should I just give in and do the D & C? The receptionist says it's right for me because it was right for her. My midwife (according to messages passed to me) says I can wait several weeks for nature to happen as long as I have no serious pain or too heavy bleeding.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 8:29pm
At this point it doesn't sound like it's medically necessary to get a D&C so if you're not comfortable with that, then I'd just hold off. Yes, getting a d&c might put closure to things more quickly, but it can also take longer for your body to get back to normal after having one, and like you, I think it's good to give our bodies a chance to try and do it naturally. Sometimes that doesn't work out and then a d&c would become medically necessary. I think ultimately you should do whatever feels right to you....what is right for one person isn't right for another. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2011
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 10:11pm
I've been keeping up with your past few posts, and honestly, I would go see another doctor, your comfort/peace of mind should be their 1st concern. The fact that they are trying to make you go through with the d & c without seeing the status of your pregnancy with your own eyes with the u/s prior to you making such a final decision is just crazy to me! I know they do this everyday, it's their job, but imo patient comfort should be important too!

I am sooooo sorry that the dr/nurses/midwife are making this experience so much harder on you than it already is. (((hugs))) I hope you can find peace and comfort soon in whatever your future holds. I am hoping for the best for you. P&pt

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2011
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 3:25am

I agree, you shouldn't be forced into doing something you're not comfortable with.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2011
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 9:32am

First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 12:01pm
((hugs)) I agree with these lovely ladies. Do what's right for you & don't feel pressured in any way by them. I agree about getting a new midwife/OB, but I'm pretty sure I read that you've already looked into that. It doesn't seem right to me that the receptionist is the one passing along the information -it should be coming directly from your midwife so you can express your concerns & ask questions.
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