UGH. One of those days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2009
UGH. One of those days.
8
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 1:49am

DH's ex-step-cousin is on our facebook page. I've never met her and DH hasn't seen her since he was about 5. She's in her mid 20s and just got married about 3 months ago. She decided last week (despite her husband not wanting to...yes...this is all according to status updates on FB...the crap people share on there is ridiculous!) that she wanted to have a baby. She and her DH are both weeellll over 300lbs and both have type 2 diabetes. She is unemployed and he makes minimum wage. They live in her mom's house and have nothing...furniture, a bed, nothing... Seriously, is this the best time for you to have children?!?! Maybe you could try to get your life together! So she goes to her doctor on Friday and he prescribes her 100mg Clomid without any b/w or trying first! Ummm...I'm on cycle 33 naturally and still trying to convince my RE to give me something (although I think we finally got her blessing...along with our team of docs, but that's a different story...). What the *#?@! Are you kidding me? I'm not saying poor or overweight people should not try. But they make NO attempt to be healthy or to move forward with their lives. I've had my share of weight problems and I work my butt off to be as healthy as I can be so I can be the healthiest pregnant lady ever. And um...maybe this moron of a doctor could try to make her get her diabetes under control?! Her stupid FB is all about going to Taco Bell and loving on Micky D's milkshakes. Seriously, I just wanted to jump through the stupid computer and slap this girl.

Needless to say, I deleted this cousin as well as her siblings, DH, parents, and anyone that might talk to her. Man, I sure hope I get pregnant before she does!

I'm so sick of people thinking that TTC/having children is a damn game. I also think that people need to remember that not everyone can get knocked up by having sex once and have a little sensitivity because you never know who may be hurt by your words.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies. I know we all have stupid people like this in our lives. I say...screw 'em! :)

Let this be our month, gals!

Chrissi







TTC Baby #3 - Cycle #11








Forever missing our little girls

Avery (06.23.09 - 06.27.09)

Cameryn (06.23.09 - 06.24.09)


TTTSNW.ORG - Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Northwest: For Our Babies





03.2007: TTC #1

06.2007: DH's SA is great; my b/w and exam look great

01.30.2009: BFP after 22 months TTC!

02.23.2009: IDENTICAL TWINS!!!

04.22.2009: They are girls! Avery Lauren ("baby A") and Cameryn Grace ("baby B")

06.23.2009: Didn't feel well, went to ER, Dx with TTTS, water broke 8 hours later, in 35 minutes went from 3cm to 9.5cm. Delivered by emergency c-section at 24w5d:

Avery 1lb .2oz at 11:37pm

Cameryn 8.8oz at 11:38pm

06.24.2009: Took Cameryn off life support from collapsed lungs, held her until she died at 10:30am

06.27.2009: Took Avery off life support from stage 4 hemorrhaging on the brain, no renal function, severe lung infection, dx of "brain dead," held her until she died at 11:00am

09.23.2009: ttc #3, asking our girls to bless us with a brother or sister when they are ready





TTC Baby #3 - Cycle #15


Forever missing our

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 7:25am

Hi Chrissi


ugh, SO irritating. She sounds young and, um, what's the right word here...uninformed? Someone else may use the word stupid. There is always such injustice when it comes to having children. Until I tried, I had no idea how complicated it is. And about people...please don't even get me started. Here's what I want to post on Facebook:


"Advice to everyone: Don't ask people about their plans to have children or more children. Either they're having difficulty or they don't want to, either way, it's none of your damn business. Its the most obnoxious, personal thing you can ask someone, so DON'T ASK, NOT EVER."


I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Just remember, you can always come here for people that DO understand.


Shannon

Shannon


Shannon

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 9:41am


That is unreal. How/why would a dr give her clomid? Did she lie and say they had been trying for a long time? I can't believe some of the people who decide to try to get pregnant when their situations are about as unsuitable for a child as a person can imagine. I mean really, I never pictured bringing home a baby to my parent's house while my man is out doing his minimum wage job and I don't have a job. Is that really a pleasant image for her? And in her fantasy world of getting pregnant, is she obese, diabetic, and just totally carefree about the risks that can pose to her unborn child? Unbelievable, and I am disgusted that a dr gave her clomid. Not because of her weight necessarily or the no job/depends on parents factors (since s/he wouldn't necessarily know that), but because not every woman needs Clomid and certainly not after a week of "TTC." That is a slap in the face to all the women who are patient and follow the rules and invest some energy, patience, and faith in the TTC process. AND, the dr is being ridiculous not to address the risks of being obese and pg and diabetic and pg.

Whew! As you can tell, I think you have every right to be irritated and I would definitely kick them off my facebook list. I have a cousin who announced in May that he and his girlfriend (of less than 9 months) are expecting a child in November. It is his 3rd child (two with another woman) and her 3rd child (two with TWO other men). Neither of them work, though he takes classes at a jr college, and they rent from one of their family members at a reduced cost since they are broke. They don't have insurance, so their state is the lucky footer of all those dr bills. It was supposedly an "accident," but I'm thinking that if you've collectively had 4 children already, you kind of know what makes you end up pregnant. Both are also recovering drug addicts, and she used during at least one of her previous pregnancies. So somehow hardcore drug use didn't damage their reproductive abilities, but my healthy food, no alcohol, no caffeine, lots of exercise lifestyle doesn't afford me much in the reproductive realm. Maybe I should switch to a meth lifestyle for awhile ;-)...

Let's face it- TTC w/IF sucks. It definitely reminds me the world isn't fair. I am really sorry that you even had to read about that crap, especially after your tragic losses and your TTC struggles. Try to forget about it now (easier said than done), and focus on what makes you an awesome mommy to your angel girls and to your future children.

Big hugs!

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 12:32pm
Wow!! That's seriously annoying and I would feel exactly like you do!! Sometimes I think Facebook can be evil. You learn things about people that you normally wouldn't want to know about by the crazy crap they post. I'm glad that you deleted her. Some things people should keep to themselves, but they openly post it for everyone to see. It's crazy to see how insensitive people can be. I'm so sorry! Good luck to you. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 2:17pm
I am very surprised her doctor gave her clomid right away without trying on her own for a year. I hope you get PG first. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 3:34pm
My husband and I are both over 300 pounds but we are TTC. Don't hate on people because they are fat. If her doctor is OK with it, it's none of your business unless you have a medical degree to say that she's not healthy enough to have a child. My husband I are taking this very, very seriously and we have blessings from both my RE and our family doctor to go ahead and TTC. They are confident in our health and our resolve to do this. Just remember you don't know what she's going through necessarily with her health. There could be more to it than she's letting on. I hope when I meet people and tell them I'm TTC they don't think of me like you think of her.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 7:39pm

Ok, so I'm totally going to dive into this when I should just keep my mouth shut. Lisa, I know it's hard not to feel as though Chrissi is judging "fat" people who try to get pregnant, but that's not what her post is about. Yes, a comment was made that the woman is overweight. But there were also comments about her unhealthy lifestyle, her uncontrolled diabetes, her lack of income, her lack of housing, etc. You are correct that it's possible no one knows what struggles this woman deals with, BUT given the cavalier way she apparently shares information on FB, it stands to reason that she probably doesn't have some sort of struggle she isn't sharing. You obviously are dedicated to TTC, you have enlisted the help of qualified medical personnel, and you are committed to having a healthy baby. I'm willing to bet you and your DH are also in a "better place" to be responsible, nurturing parents. This post was in NO WAY directed at "fat" people and wasn't a judgment of overweight people TTC.

Chrissi posted in this section because she needed support and wanted to vent about something that hurt her. It drives me absolutely insane when women post for support and others attack her because they don't agree with her opinions or they feel she shouldn't be hurt. If you don't agree with someone who has posted in this section...please, just keep quiet.

Clearly if you know Chrissi at all, or if you've read her sig line, you can see that she has endured way more pain than most women can even imagine. She is definitely entitled to feel hurt and frustrated that another woman (who isn't in as good of health, who hasn't been TTC, who isn't financially prepared to raise a child) was able to get a doctor to prescribe Clomid...especially when Chrissi has struggled with infertility for so long after losing her twins.

Love you, Chrissi. Big hugs.

Becca
Becca
Baby #3 due March 23, 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 9:47am


Darnit- when I was posting I was going from memory and I was thinking it was Lesley or Lindsay, so I had the L part of it right! Glad I didn't go with either of those thought! By the way, I just clicked on your baby name list and I love the name Connor- I wanted it to be a contender for us if we have a boy, but DP doesn't love how it sounds with his last name :-(

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 11:29am
No worries, Andrea! :-)



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