Wasting a beautiful gift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2008
Wasting a beautiful gift.
7
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 6:28pm
So this is something that has been on my mind for a few days now but my fiancee isn't really thrilled to discuss it. It absolutely hurts me when there are people who can get pregnant time and time again and either just abort the pregnancy or have the children and turn out to be neglectful parents. I work in a childcare center and have seen both of these situations. I have been TTC for quite a while now and it breaks my heart to know that people can so sadly abuse such a lucky gift.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 11:10am
I know exactly how you feel. I work case management for children with mental health issues, yet most of them have behavior issues due to poor parenting no so much mental health, and I get to see their parents pregnant time and again either having more children when they don't/can't take care of the ones they already have or just go and have an abortion or take certain herbs to abort "naturally". It kills me to watch this happen and not understand why they deserve it and I don't. Afetr going through both my losses I can't understand how someone could choose to do that I just wanted to let you know you ae not alone in thinking that.

 PCOS, Insulin Resistance, MTHFR, APS (Hughes Syndrome) and a Mullerian Anomaly  (bicornuate uteru

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 12:24pm

I understand exactly how you feel. My husband's neice baffles me. She's very much the same way. She has a total of 5 kids, all have different fathers (this isn't mean to be insulting to anyone, just that she is unstable). She had babies 1 and 2... and then she had baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 5:56pm
I hear ya. I have a friend who has been pg 3 times - she lost her first one at 11 weeks, carried her 2nd one to term.... and then got pg again a couple years ago and doesn't tell me that she had been pregnant until one day I call her and ask how she's doing and she says she's not feeling well. So I ask her if she's been sick and she says, all nonchalant: "I'm miscarrying". So of course I'm sympathetic and offer her a shoulder and any support I can give, but she acted like it was no big deal. Less than a month later, she tells me that it wasn't actually a m/c, she had gotten the abortion pill!! She practically bragged about it! I mean, it's no wonder she had been so casual about her supposed m/c! It's not like it was an accidental pregnancy either - she hadn't been using any b/c and had been talking about wanting another baby! And the most hurtful part is that she was sitting there talking about her abortion like it was the greatest thing in the world and she KNEW I'd been ttc for over a year at that point. She has other friends who've also terminated pregnancies who would've been much more able to listen to it, but she insisted on bringing it up every time I talked to her for months. And I just couldn't be supportive of her decision b/c in my opinion, she carelessly threw away something I would have given pretty much anything for. Our friendship has suffered a lot because of it.
And of course I won't even get into the 20 year old meth addict I know (thru friends) who just had baby number 3 with her cheating abusive "boyfriend" - the same boyfriend who slaps around not just her, but her 4 year old daughter.
I have so many stories like this, I could seriously write a novel. But I'll spare you any more cuz it'd just make you angry or depressed or both.
Lets just hope we can bring LOVED and WANTED babies into this world soon! Good luck!


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Jackie: 25
DH Alex: 27
Married since: 10/29/2004
TTC since: 12/2005
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 9:05pm

I completely agree. Everyone should be tested before they have children lol. GL too you and hope this is your month;)

*hugs*
Jenny

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2005
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 1:49pm

An interesting thing came up a couple weeks ago when I was talking to a friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 12:56am
This reminds me of my cousin. She had 2 kids, kept them, had a 3rd, gave it up for adoption. Then ended up giving her first 2 children away to some lady from her church when they were 2 and 4. Since then she has had another baby and is pregnant now again. Who knows if she will end up giving them up too. Everyone in the family seems to think she's got something wrong upstairs. Its sad and I'm embarrassed to be related to her.

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Rachel -

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 8:10am

I know the feelings of anger and sadness. The first time we tried to get pregnant, it took 2 years. During that time we lived in a military area where DH was stationed. There was a homecoming baby boom and EVERY military wife was preggo it seemed. No matter where I turned I could easily spot 5 or 6 women preggo in any given store. It killed me. I was in college at the time and there was a girl there that was preggo...again. During breaks between classe she would be smoking like crazy. I happened to over hear her conversation about how she had another girl with a bunch of disabilities and was a preemie. I asked what the disabilities were, and she said about 5 different things all associated with tobacco use during pregnancy. Yet, there she was smoking her lungs out. I got so discusted with her that for the remaining 2 months of school I refused to even look or speak to her when she approached me.


Then I would see on the news all these babies being dumped in garbage dumpsters. I went through a horrible depression. Finally DH and I decided we needed some help getting preggo and within 2 cycles we were blessed with twins!


So keep your chin up, your day will come!

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