What do I say to my TTC friends?
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|Mon, 09-26-2011 - 12:18pm|
I'm posting here because I have two close friends who are both having a hard time conceiving. And I love them.
It has been more than 2 years for both of them, and I see how the frustration and disappointment affects them. They're sad, they're pissed off, they're bitter. Not all the time of course! Generally these are some successful, happy, loving women! They try, try, try and a positive pregnancy test continues to elude them. (Oh and no, these 2 people don't know each other.) They've been to the doctor and everyone's healthy. They've both been told "It's just a matter of time" and to keep trying.
I have 2 kids. When I got pregnant the 2nd time, we told one of the couples over dinner. She literally didn't talk to me for the rest of the meal, and when we were all walking home she stayed 20 paces ahead. I totally understand. I really do. But I also learned that she just doesn't want to have any conversation about babies, pregnancy, etc... And that she just couldn't be happy for me. I have to admit, it really hurt my feelings, and our relationship did change after that. But here we are almost 2 years from that night, and I still avoid talking about my kids with her because I don't want to be a reminder of what she's going through.
My other friend doesn't seem bothered by any kid/pregnancy conversations, but I do see her still get upset when I tell her about some little thing that happened.
Both of these women are going to be amazing moms one day! Until then, I want to know -- what do I say to them about all this? I want to ask "how's the ttc going?" because I care and always hope for some good news, but obviously, I don't want to ask either. I want to thank my one friend for being so supportive off me during my difficult pregnancy, but how do I do that without sounding insensitive? The bottom line is, I love them, and I don't want to make this time in their lives any more difficult than it already is.