On the Fence

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
On the Fence
3
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 2:29pm

So I have never put a "cap" on the number of children I wanted to have. I knew I wanted a large family, and for whatever reason I wanted to have an even number of children. After my second child was 2 I got the "baby itch" again. When I mentioned a 3rd child he looked at me like I had 5 heads! It had been a year since I miscarried (I became pregnant because my IUD was not properly in, and when removed caused me to miss carry.) So, I was putting up a fight. I wanted a baby and he was going to hear about it. I brided, threatening, and begged for a baby, and I got her. My little Anissa is 14 months old now. After I had her I told him we would have to have 4 to make our family even now. He said, "I wanted 2, you want 4, so I think 3 is a fair compromise." I have thrown around having our 4th and he shuts me down. I am now a part time college student, I help care for my dad, and obviously I have 3 little ones 5 & under. I'm pretty busy as it is, and I thought maybe if he got a vascetomy it would close that chapter in my life. When I tried to discuss it with him, he hit me with, "Maybe I do want a 4th child." Is he SERIOUS?! Do NOT say that to me. I'm having a hard enough time...

So finally last night he says he wants a 4th and we should start trying in Sept. I feel like why wait? In fact, it makes more sense to get pregnant ASAP. I plan to still go to school and I want to try to have the baby around my school schedule. The Chinese prediction calendar has always been right for me, and if I were to get pregnant this month or next we'd have a boy, which would mean 2 boys & 2 girls. I am not going to lie either...one of my best friends just found out she's pregnant, and another close friend just had her invitro done last week, not to mention another girlfriend of mine is 4 months pregant and another best friend is going to begin trying after her wedding in July. The closest friends I have are all pregnant, about to be, or soon trying. I'm just so confused...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 2:49pm

And apparently I still have a siggy from when I was pregnant with my 2nd LOL. It's been awhile since I've been on IV.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 3:29pm
That's a tough decision, Niki. Just when you were ready to move on he changes his mind on you, makes it very confusing. What about waiting a month or two to think over the idea? It doesn't sound like a new baby will affect your life all that much, it's really about what your heart is telling you. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 05-08-2011 - 8:52pm
we sound like one in the same! I thought I would be fine with 3 kids, but I just started to get the baby itch and my husband just said ok too, after months of saying no way! My kids are 18, 13, and 6.... so it will be like starting all over again. I'm getting my Mirena out on May 24th ...hoping to be pregnant in the next few months! Good luck to you!