Hello Ladies just wanting some advice.....(long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Hello Ladies just wanting some advice.....(long)
8
Sat, 10-22-2011 - 11:14pm

Hello ladies. I just wanted to get some advice from you all. My DF is apparently going through a CRAZY baby fever......Again............

We have the most amazing three and a half month old little boy. =] He is the highlight of everyday. But the other night DF sat down and talked with me about how he would like to start trying for another baby, soon. He has some good point but I don't think he is thinking that we just had a baby almost four months ago LOL

His mother and father(both have had several marriages) have all of their children very spaced out. His mothers children are 25(df), 20, 8, and 13 months, and his fathers children are 25(df), 20, 7, and 5. So he hates the idea of having a large age gap between children.

He also has Cerebral palsy. Which in his case effects his legs. Within the next few years he will probably be in a wheel chair full time. This is another one of his reasons for wanting to try so soon. He wants to be able to help me when the kids are infants and toddlers and he can not fully do that in a wheel chair, even with our house already being custom built for when he is.

His final reason being that when we tried to get pregnant with Carsyn it took us a year. So he is scared that it will take forever to get pregnant this time as well.

I was just looking for some advice from other mom's on when they decided to start trying for their second child, or advice from ladies with children very closely spaced.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2011
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 12:43am

Wow, that is a tough decision!

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 12:57am

Thank you =] I was somewhat worried to the responses I might get as I posted on another board and they about chewed my head off for no apparent reason.

It taking a while is his biggest fear, it about broke his heart when it took us a year to try for our son. He is such a sweetie. lol.

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Registered: 06-21-2011
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 1:33am

A lot of the other forums are like that, but all the ladies here are so nice and supportive.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
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Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 2:04pm

it is so nice to have someone so supportive

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2011
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 2:25pm

So sorry to hear about that.... I know surgeries aren't easy either :(

Lilypie Maternity tickers
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Registered: 09-08-2011
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 4:24pm

My kids are almost 4 years apart. (DS was born early January, DD turned 4 that February.) Honestly, I think it's a really hard age gap. The first year was okay, but then it got tough. DD has never really treated DS like a baby and resented that he got more attention in public than her.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 4:48pm

Thank you =]

RIght now I am able to be a stay at home mom, and most likely will be untill the kids go to school, and then would go back to work while they were in school. We both want them to be close so they can be good friends, and not have the issues with jealousy and all that. I see the same thing with my DF's two youngest brothers who are 8 and 13 months, the baby wants to play with the older sibling but is to young and the older sibling thinks that everyone only likes the baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2011
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 7:57am
Only you can know what truly is right for your family. Like someone else said above me there will be pros and cons of either a big or small age gap. With a small age gap your going to have 2 children in diapers at once to me that was always a big con, but in a larger gap you've finally gotten past diapers and moved on to a more self sufficient child and sort of have to start all over. My dh is 23, brother is 22, sister is 20, and another sister 18months and clearly he is much closer and more buddy buddy with the older siblings but we also keep his baby sister over night several times a month so im sure they will be close when she grows up as well. But I also have a close friend who is 23, brother 20, sister 13, and another sister 3 and she isn't close to any of them at all and rarely talks to any of them other than holidays so a lot of what determines their closeness is just their own personality, not the age diff! Hope that helps some.