IT'S NOT FAIR!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
IT'S NOT FAIR!!
7
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 5:49pm

Hi all,

I am currently being visited my AF. I never truly understood why she is called a witch until now... This signals the end of my fourth failed cycle. I am 24 years old and lucky enough to be blessed with two gorgeous sons 6 and 2. I fell pregnant the first month of trying both times and so believed it would be easy. In fact I didn't try as such. So I just assumed it would happen easily third time around.

The first month I had a nose around some ttc sites, got the general gist of when I should be bd'ing etc. Waited patiently for 12dpo and then peed on sticks daily fully expecting the two magical lines to appear. They didn't. I thought, hey, that's OK, its only my first month, maybe I miscalculated ovulation or something.

So on to month 2. This time I became quite knowledgeable in everything cycle related. Abbreviations and checking cervical mucus and position of cervix were duly learnt and carried out. I felt certain that with all my acquired knowledge it was a dead cert. this time. Nope, along came AF after working my way through an embarrassing number of HPT's

So we are into month 3. I went on Ebay and bought OPK's and pregnancy test in bulk. Peed on OPK's. Ate well, drank lots of fluid, exercised, did everything that anyone had ever thought would aid conception. Even lay flat on my back after BD'ing (just in case it helped!!) So, having done all that I continued to help clearblue's profit margin and got HPT happy. Nothing... Again.

Month 4 I wondered whether I was maybe just trying too hard so did nothing but BD'ed every other day through my cycle and tried to relax. I thought, this is going to work,I know it. And no. :( So here I am now, Entering month 5 and wondering what is wrong with me, am I still fertile, if so what am I doing wrong. Its so frustrating, demoralizing and yet every month I find myself scrutinizing every twinge with renewed hope that this is my month. I feel a bit nauseous, my boobs are a bit tender, AHA that must be it, I am definitely pregnant this time. And I'm not...

Now I know that 4 months isn't all that long really. And I should be patient and there are people who have been trying for so much longer and have recognized fertility issues. But no matter whether its the first month or the hundred and first, the BFN is no easier to bear when you want it so much.

Anyway, that's it, that's me, I hope that I can help anyone who wants someone to talk to in their TTC journey or just wants to know that someone is listening. Sorry about the length of this but just needed to vent my frustration somewhere. Thanks for reading x

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 10:09am

I totally understand your frustration. Took me a long time to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 10:56am

I can

 BabyFruit Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sat, 10-16-2010 - 12:10am

I know how you feel. This will be 4 months TTC if I don't get a positive around the end of the month.

Do you ever feel like it's so unfair for these 14 year olds to be getting pregnant because they think babied are cute and it's in "vogue" to be pregnant, but those of us who are adults and want to create families can't get pregnant?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Sat, 10-16-2010 - 1:18am

I hear ya! I've just completed cycle 2 (IUD was removed in August) with a BFN. Starting the day my period ended this month we BD'd every 2-3 days and STILL nothing!

With my first, well.... we never actually even BD'd! (We planned to wait until marriage....) We fooled around but because of that I ended up pregnant and I assumed it would be SUPER easy for me to conceive #2 (hubby and I joked that we must be SUPER fertile!) and alas... nothing yet.

What gets me through (at least until the end of THIS cycle!) is that the average of what I've read (which is minimal) for getting a BFP after having an IUD out is 3 cycles. So I'm praying THIS is my cycle. If not... *sighs*

And to the previous poster who wrote about it not being fair that 14 year olds are getting pregnant because it's "in vogue" I agree!!! Not fair! My sister is a prime example of that! She got pregnant 4 times by accident (well, who knows about the first 2, she was 17 and 18 at those times and it could have been intentional) but the last 2 at least were while she was on the depo shot! Not fair! And to top it off she's not married and hasn't had a job in Heaven knows how long and is currently living with her 5 kids at my parents house. (Did I mention her last pregnancy was TWINS?)

- Caroline

* Wife of Eric (July 28, 2007)

* Proud Mommy of Allison Kathleen (April 14, 2007)

* Expecting another BABY GIRL on September 16, 2011

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 10-16-2010 - 5:38pm

Hiya. I do know what you mean about those who seem to fall pregnant so easily without even appreciating that the ability is a gift, not something to be taken on as a fad or fashoin.

I just get really frustrated. It seems that so quickly my life has become a timer and i am wishing away my days. From the moment AF arrives i am counting the days until i may be fertile and am approaching ovulation, wishing it away so that i may try. Then i spend 8-10 days with the agonising wait, listening to my body as though it will shout "pregnant"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 10:44pm

I totally understand your story. I'm on my 6th cycle (after conceiving DS after only3 tries), and I experience all of those same things. I think AF is on her way now, so we're moving on to cycle #7.

I wish you good luck and hope that next month everything clicks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:10pm

Ahhhhhh lovely,