Accepting a job offer and PG?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Accepting a job offer and PG?
7
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 9:31pm
I am an infrequent poster and haven't been in this board for a while as DH and I put TTC on hold. While we were on hold, I decided to stop freelancing and start looking for a 9-5 job. I've been sending out résumés without getting any bites and started feeling frustrated at the thought that I would have no choice but to continue to freelance (which has been a struggle.) So DH and I started TTC again and I'm thinking we may have timed it right this month.

Today I received a call from a place I sent my résumé to and they want me to come in and interview. The job sounds perfect for me and having a steady paycheck would be very helpful, especially since we want to start a family. *If* I get a job offer and I turn out to be pregnant, what is the ethically right about disclosing this information? I know there are laws protecting my rights, but is that something I should share right away or not? If I had already been working some where else, it's not something I would share until I absolutely have to.

I know a lot of these worries are premature...I haven't either a job offer or a confirmed positive, but it is on my mind. Any related experience or opinons would be appreciated.


EDD 10/6/04


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 9:38pm
I wouldn't share the information, and I wouldn't feel bad about it. =)

For starters, your personal life is out-of-bounds in a job interview process - they shouldn't bring it up, and I would say neither should you. Second, even if you get PG, there's no telling what could happen - m/c, etc. No use letting this job go for that.

Finally, think about if your DH were looking for a new job right now. Would he mention to his potential employer that he was TTC with his wife right now (which could result in his choosing to take FMLA himself in a few months)? I've heard of no man who would bring that up... so why should you?

Good luck!

Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 9:45pm
Urm stick with me while I ramble LOL. Most companies have a 90 day probationary period anyway, and you probably wouldn't tell them you were PG during the first trimester anyway. But then there is the thing that if they fire you because you are pregnant its discrimination, but if its during your probationary period is it discrimination (see I'm rambling) I would say don't tell them (now), its none of their business, say you were not TTC right now but decided to try one week after you got the job, would you announce to your boss that you were TTC?

OK I need sleep LOL hope that helps :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 10:23pm
Definitely do not tell them. You TTC is none of their business, especially considering it could take a day or a year to get pregnant (hopefully not a year, but you get my point). Then if you are indeed pregnant, in 90 days when you're in your 13th week, explain that you're pregnant and promise that you won't let it interfere with the job. Then don't let it interfere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 7:12am
I wouldn't tell them. I actually have a friend who started a new job, and found out the day after she started she was pg. She had such irregular cycles that she wasn't even thinking she was pg. Her company is fine with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 7:54am
I agree with the other posts here. You are not required even out of courtesy until you are ready and showing. I told at 13 weeks with my last employer. I just wanted to add that, when you do tell, don't discuss your plans for when the baby comes (i.e. leave, go part-time, maternity leave duration, etc.) You can't make those decisions that early and you shouldn't set expectations yet. You don't know if your child will have special needs or you will have a challenging recovery and your employer shouldn't ask what your plans are. If they do (mine did) just say you haven't decided (even if you have) and will wait until the baby is born or at least farther along.

Best wishes to you,

Nadine baby#3 EDD 6/13/04

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 8:24am

It happened to me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 9:16am


A couple of things to remember - First, you only qualify for FMLA if you have been at the employer for a year when you take the leave, so if you are PG or get PG in the first couple of months, they don't have to legally protect your job while you take maternity leave. Most companies probably would still let you take that leave, but you can't legally make them. So when I started a new job last dec. I waited until march to go off the pill to guarantee FMLA and to give me a chance to show my stuff before turning up PG. Of course still not PG, oh well.

I would never mention TTC or family plans in an interview. if they ask anything related then you should say something like, we haven't decided what are plans are... (legally they aren't allowed to ask, and you don't have to answer, but if they do ask and you still want the job you have to be diplomatic about your answer) I would do what most people here said, when you get PG, wait until about 2nd trimester to tell (unless you need to tell them earlier for other reasons like severe morning sickness). At the time you tell them though, i think if you know you plan to keep working, tell them that and assure them of your plans and commitment to your job. That way you are less likely to get overlooked for raises or promotions while PG.

Hope this helps!

Good Luck!

Vicki