Am I the ONLY one?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Am I the ONLY one?!?!
14
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 8:41pm
I keep reading how husbands love the BD fests, or how someone was really "in the mood" after getting off the pill and that her husband loved it, etc. etc. Am I the only one who wants sex more than her husband?!? I'm almost embarassed to admit it, like I'm unattractive or undesirable or something. Granted, right now he's in refit (insanely busy time in a submariner's schedule) so he works crazy hours, has to sleep on the boat every few days and stuff like that. BUT we've been BDing more now that we're TTC than we were when he wasn't on this crazy schedule. He's YOUNG (24) so shouldn't he always want it?! It's weird when HE'S not in the mood but I always am. I never turn him down (even if I don't really feel like it) so it kinda hurts when he turns me down. Anyway, this is getting more embarassing! LOL.

I was just wondering if anyone else's husband were like that. I want it MORE, even after we conceive! lol

Lilypie Lilypie

 <

Pages

Avatar for anprdp
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 11:18pm
No way...my dh was so horrible at ttc..that is what forcing him..I would just say "give me the goods and go to sleep"...no joking...so don't feel alone...I have to beg for it even now...so no you are not in any means alone in this..lol

xxoo

Angelia




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:54am
Hi there,

You are definitely not alone!!

After coming off BCP a year ago my libido shot thru the roof, and although DH was happy (before we only did it about once a month), he soon got tired of me wanting to do it so often. I've gone through feelings of rejection, embarrassment, resentment, pouting... You name it.

I still have to initiate and seduce, but now that we are ttc he's more attentive! I've also had to resort to stuff like sexy underwear and even toys. He's a romantic so candles, soft music and such also help get him in the mood.

Hope any of this is helpful. At least to let you know that you are NOT alone.

Minna
Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 9:02am
OHMYGOSH! Can I just tell you that my hb is the same way!?!?!?! I guess his sex drive in going away or something he is only 26. My goodness unless I am some sort of freak or nimf(sp?). So no you are not the only one. How are you feeling? Any new news yet????

+++++++++THOUGHTS TO YOU+++++++++++++++


Jen

JPAKAJR-0907.jpg picture by JenRhodes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 9:51am
So True--my DH is normally ready 24/7 but of course when BMS time comes around it is not as exciting. Maybe it is the pressure? Just remember IT IS NOT YOU! I think we girls get so excited about getting pg and the guys freak out a little sometimes.

FYI, with my DD pregnancy we might have had sex 10 times during the entire pg--mostly in the beginning. Down from 1-2 times per week. I remember feeling rejected and felt like we were never going to have a normal sex life again. After the baby he refused to touch me for 9 weeks despite my begging. But after that he was all over me even more than before. Turns out he was just nervous about hurting me or the baby. I've heard the same story from many of my friends so don't be surprised if once you get pregnant he is the same way--very normal.

GOOD LUCK! I'm sure you'll be pg soon!

Katherine

TTC#2, CD7

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 10:49am
Hey Girl,

Right after I found out I was Preggy my hb wouldn't have anything to do with me in the bedroom. I felt so rejected and after begging and pleading and dressing sexy I finally exploded and asked him what the heck was a matter with me that he didn't want me.

He gave me this look and finally admitted that he was scared to hurt the baby. So then I developed a little bit of compassion for him and understood that he wasn't as informed as I. I was the one doing all the research on what was healthy in pregnancy. So I found a chapter in What to Expect when you are Expecting that is for the dad's. It answered a lot of his questions.

Just thought I would share.

Jen and the peanut

04/04/04

JPAKAJR-0907.jpg picture by JenRhodes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 11:15am
Nope, My DH says I have sex issues because I want it more than him and that it's the guys role to be the aggressor. Boy is HE wrong...LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 11:34am
You are definitely not the only one. My husband and I are like that. I want sex so much more than he does. I am the one who iniciates it all the time. It gets old. I just want him to ravise my body. He is my husband for petes sake. I feel that is wrong with me too, but then i think nothing. I am just want it more than he does. Don't be embarrassed about it. I think it is funny because it is usally the guys who want it more than the women but in some cases like ours we want it more than they do. It just sucks when you want to have a baby because it takes two so sometimes i feel like i am pushing him to have sex with me. I always want it tired or not. I can't believe he does not want it more either. He is only 32 so he is still young as well. So i don't know what their problems are. Hang in there. I wrote a letter to my husband telling how i felt maybe that might help you as well. It is easier to get everything down on paper than it is to say in person.. You just end up crying in person and you don't get out everything you want to say. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 11:51am


dh loves my increased sex drive. since we've been ttc i've been all over him when i can get him. all he has to say is c'mon lets go. i'm all for it. i know lately he's had a low drive but it's cause he's either been working his @$$ off with his two jobs or he's been stuck at hte base medical clinic for one test or another. so we have made it a point to keep our sex life as good as we can. i seducedh im on our anniversary and once after a bad fight he seduced me. we keep it fair and he's made me almost a nypho. i admit it too.

dh is only 21 and i'm 22 so i dunno what else to say, he taught me how to enjoy sex once before and i showed him how much lately. i'm bad i know

lissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:10pm
They say that married sex is better, and it seems better to me, just not as often! LOL. I'm always like, "hey, remember when you couldn't keep your hands off me? WHAT HAPPENED?!" I guess because he knows I'm always here for him (unlike when we were dating and in a long distance relationship) so he doesn't feel the need to be doing it all the time. I guess I just get tired of initiating it most of the time, I'd like for him to seek me out more often, make me feel more wanted. Maybe I should think like that, base my attractiveness on him, but its so hard not to!

Oh well. I want to say I'm glad I'm not alone, but that means that you guys have to suffer too! I'm sorry for us! ;) I mean dont these guys know how well they have it? I always here other men talking about how their wives won't ever give it up, haha, maybe we all married the wrong people, lol, JUST KIDDING!

Thanks for all the responses, at least it makes me feel better.

Lilypie Lilypie

 <

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:45pm
I think that most of us women are like that. Lately all I want to do is bd. We try to do it every other day when I know I'm Oing, but sometimes he tells me that he's not in the mood. This coming from a guy who was always saying "you're never in the mood". Every chance he got he was tying to jump my bones, but lately....? Now that it is my turn, it's a problem.

Pages