Anyone going to wait to announce BFP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Anyone going to wait to announce BFP?
24
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 2:46pm

I know since we are all TTC and are very very aware of our bodies and we are all POAS freaks...we will know "sooner" than the average woman when we get (I am claiming the WHEN for us all) preggers.


BUT...is anyone going to wait to tell DH or SO or anyone else until 6-8 weeks?


I've had 2 miscarriages in the past and since I have not TTC in 4 years...I am kinda alot scared about having a loss again.


Since this is the first time SO has ever been involved in the TTC process (before he was just the supplier so has no clue about charting and everything else and his ex never did that) I was thinking of waiting until 6 weeks or that 1st u/s when you can see the heartbeat and hear it (I would have one at 6 weeks since I had losses)

 


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 2:53pm
With our first we waited until 9 weeks - after we had seen the heartbeat. However, many family members have "threatened" me about waiting so long again. They all want to know! Only my best friend and sister-in-law know we are trying and I know I will tell BF but I'm not so sure about SIL, she has a BIG mouth! My DH is very nervous about telling too early so we still have to work out that issue. I know my DH and my BF will know the day I know but other than that they may all have to wait a few weeks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 2:55pm
We are planning on waiting until after the first trimester.... just to be extra "safe."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 3:00pm

I cannot imagine waiting 6-8 weeks to tell my DH that I am preggo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 3:35pm
DH and I never discussed this, and I wish we had. I am a much more private person than he is, and as soon as I had my positive, he was telling everyone! Well, a week later I was losing the bean and not too thrilled about having to discuss with everyone. I told my parents after I had already lost it, mostly because my MIL already knew and I felt weird that she would know and not my own mom. Anyway, long story short, next time (and there WILL be a next time!!!) I think I am going to keep it to myself a little longer, and also tell DH in private (last time he was at work and I called) and also discuss not telling anyone til a little later. I think the whole 1st trimester is a bit much for me, but I feel like if I did suffer a loss then there are people I would want to tell for support. I don't feel like loss should be a big secret or unspeakable, just that you don't really want to have to tell the postman about it! It's interesting to me to see the different philosophies on this issue. Anyone else disagree with DH/partner on timing of going public?
Either way, let's hope there is something to announce for all of us soon!!!!
Hugs,
Lana

Lana TTC#1 since July 2007 Miscarriage at 5 wks October 2008 Chemical pregnancy March 2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 3:55pm

DH would DIE if I waited to tell him. He wants to be in the room with me when I read the test.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 4:15pm

We're definitely waiting until we see a heartbeat before we start telling everyone. Last time we told our immediate family right away. After morning sickness hit at 6 weeks, I felt I had to tell my office manager to explainj why certain tasks might be difficult (imagine being in court and trying to leave at a moments notice to go puke). Everyone said my ms was a great sign of how healthy the pg must be. We told a couple more people after that. Then at my u/s appt at 9 wks, there was no heartbeat. There was another 2 weeks confirming the loss, then the d&c. Having to call my family & tell them was a horrible experience. Then, my boss felt that bc I'd missed some work, he should share the info w/the partners. Everyone was totally sympathetic, it almost made it more difficult to deal w/everyone's "I'm so sorries"

This time, WHEN I get pg, I'll probably only tell my mom, then wait at least till we see a heartbeat before spreading the news.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 4:59pm

We are also going to wait to tell people. There is no way I couldnt tell DF, but we will definately wait to tell family and friends. The only people who know we are trying, is AJ's best friend, Adam and my best friend, Alexandrea and you ladies!! :) I have known for a long time that the first trimester is very risky, so its always been my plan to wait until the 12 week mark to tell anyone. I would HATE to have to "un-tell" people that we aren't really close to.


(((baby dust)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 5:06pm

I waited a total of 2 days to tell Dh last time. i had fantasies of not telling him this time, but i become SO ill and needy when PG, that it really is not an option. he needs to know, LOL.

i have a friend whose Dh doesnt really accep[t that there is a baby 'in there' until he sees the heartbeat - not that he thinks she is not PG, but it is like he doesnt take it into his heart until he hears it.

I think that you might want Dh there to help you through a possible loss, dont you think?

P&PT!!!

PS, my doc alwasy gives a US at the first visit too, i am so happy for that.



Jenny


with DH Tighe, 4.5 yo Janey and 23 mo Edgar B





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11/1997 - Found my future husband!

5/2003 - Married my love! Life is Great!!

2/2004 - had my Jane, 9 months later ;-) Life just keeps getting better!

5/2004 - diagnosed with MS. Life Sucks!!

2/2006 - FINALLY got pg with #2, after 2 years of waiting for fertility to return, 6 cycles of trying.

11/2006 - Edgar B (GERB) arrived

10/2008 - looks like another 2 years of waiting.... I am on cycle 5 of trying!!

+ Jenny +

Dh Tighe
6.5 yo DD Jane
4 yo DS Edgar
1.5 yo DS Hugo
Baby #4 due 08/14/11


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 5:11pm

I, also, cannot imagine not telling DH that I am carrying OUR child.

Hugs, Mika & Liam
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 5:35pm

DH and I have been talking about this a lot here lately. He will know as soon as I do....We have also decided that we will tell our parents and siblings but that is it....until we know everything is ok and it is going to be a super sticky bean.... I told DH that I don't want to have to explain to everyone what happened if it did, because he said that when we finally get pg he is going to go shout if from the roof tops and tell everyone about it, but after I tild him how I feel he changed his tune a little bit!

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