Is a baby worth no car?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Is a baby worth no car?
7
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 6:40pm

Just curious what people think...

The BIG reason that we're not TTC is money.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 6:56pm
Wow, drama drama, drama! It just depends on what is right for you. Everyone makes sacrifices for their kids it is up to you what that sacrifice will be. I think it's noble to give up your car to spend more time with your kids! I agree that if you wait until you can afford kids then you won't have them. My DH has been unemployed since May, he works a job where being laid off is a part of normal work. The last few years he's been laid off a fair portion of the year and we've still been TTC despite all this. He'll get hired again soon and it'll be fine, but you just have to do what's right for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 1:29pm
I say do what makes you happiest and forget what everyone says or thinks. You can think of a million pros or cons for either option but bottom line is you know in your heart what will make you happy and I've heard all my life if you wait till you can afford children to have them then you'll never have them! This is so true! Every month a new bill or expense will arise but if a baby is what you want I say sell that car and get to bd-ing because you can't put a price on happiness! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 1:24pm

I deal with some of the same Judgey McJudgepants type comments from my mom (not about money, but about being with someone who already has a child, i.e. being a stepmom). She always justifies her comments by saying, "I'm just worried because I'm your mother! I just want you to be happy!" Every third or fourth time she brings it up, I just have to say to her-- "I'm doing what makes me happy, so please just trust that I'm happy and doing what's right for me."

It usually holds her over for a few weeks, months if I'm really lucky. Sigh.

My point is, don't let other

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 10:02am

DH agreed to let me sell my car, temporarily. He says if it goes bad, we'll just buy a new (used) one. Not sure where we stand on the baby. But I'll get to be a stay-at-home mom to my 2 kids for now, which is what I really want, and hopefully a 3rd soon.

My mom agreed to do the school driving, since she's there and it won't inconvenience her. I'll do grocery shopping when DH is off work and use his car. We'll put a few hundred dollars in an emergency fund in case we need a rental car.

This is causing a horrible fight in the family. My mother thinks giving up a car is equivalent to putting a big "poverty" sign on my forehead. She says I married poor and made a huge mistake. (She stays married for money and convenience, not love.) So, of course, DH is pissed at my mother. We're not poor. We're normal struggling middle class. And, mom wants me to go to the movies with her tonight. How can she spend one breath telling me I'm ruining my life, and the next wanting me to go out and spend more money!

Why does drama always happen around the holidays? This is going to be an AWKWARD family Thanksgiving, lol.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2011
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 11:05pm

Well, I can offer you two versions of this story...

DB and I have no children and share a car. It is very stressful, but we make it work. We both have work and school at the same time and the times don't always line up perfectly so one of us is always in a rush or stuck waiting. However I couldn't imagine having a child and only one car, and thankfully he is getting a van for work soon.

My friend has two small children, a two y/o and a two month old. Her and her DH share one car. She is a stay at home mom. His work is about 30-45 minutes away, and every day she drives him to and from work. That would drive me a little batty, but she loves it because she then has the car the whole day. However, I know she also has a lot of help from her mother. But if something like that wouldn't bother you or your DH, it's worth a shot to pitch the idea to him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 10:03pm

I'm glad to hear somebody else has done it. The most I drive is the daily to/from school with my kids.

My house is not on a bus stop. It's a mile away from the

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 8:50pm

I am a stay at home mom also. I don't drive at all so I am used to depending on my husband to go anywhere. I also don't have any family/friends around because we recently moved out of state. On the other hand we do have 2 vehicles and I do know how to drive if I really needed to although it would be illegal. I figure that if DD needs to go to the drs then it can probably wait until he gets home. I don't currently have a dr here for her anyways and the dr she has back home I worked for so I pretty much know what they would tell me in most cases. I also figure that if it is something so bad that she needs to go the hospital there is always 911. I am very used to staying at home all day so it doesn't usually bother me.

Mandi

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