Back...but so worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Back...but so worried
2
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 11:42am
Hi all!

I haven't been around much in the past month. DH and I are going through a difficult time. We decided to have a second baby back in June. We tried for June, July, August. When I got AF on Labour Day weekend, DH admitted he was happy. He said he wasn't really ready for number 2. I was devastated. I cried for 3 days. He said he was aching because he had broken my heart...(duh? LOL)

Anyway, about a week later he said he was just worried about money. We will be fine financially, but what if he lost his job? or he became ill? or the sky would fall? You know the age old concerns. Well we are back on the baby making wagon...although September is probably a wash out for us.

My big concern...is he REALLY ready again? or is he just feeling pressure because I was so heartbroken? or is he really overcoming his fears? YIKES!! Anyone else have a partner who is wishy washy? Should we really go ahead and try again? How can I be sure????? Please give me any advice :)

Steph
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 11:52am
All you can do is tell him that you cant worry about the "what ifs" because if you do then you will never try. If he isnt ready, he isnt ready, and you cant push that, but you can help him understand that now is as good a time as any. You could loose your job right now but that wouldnt make you want to send your first kid back! If you wait until you are ready you will never have one. He knows that, hes just scred. Just be there for him.

Katie


Married to highschool sweetheart since 8-12-02


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 12:25pm
~ m/c ment

(((hugs))) to you for going through this hard time. My DH was wishy washy for a long time- that's why we had waited so long before starting to TTC. I have had 2 m/c's and although they were upsetting, I beleive everything happens for a reason, and the reason for mine were to make DH realize that he really truely wants a child and is ready. Before the m/cs he was actually indifferent about ttc- if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, do we really need to have a baby? (urgh to that!). Once the BFP came he was ecstatic, and since the last m/c is more positive and supportive and truely wants to have a baby. Your situation being obviously different, however I think that once a baby is a reality he will lose all doubts and will again play role of proud papa.

JMHO!

GL to you sweetie!

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Tara

 

 Tara~ co-cl of Pregnant after TTC