Brother in law as sperm donor
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Brother in law as sperm donor
| Fri, 10-07-2011 - 12:26am |
Hi everyone,
I was just wondering what your thoughts are on this. My husband and I are not trying to get pregnant just yet, but have talked about it and are planning to try within the next
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Thanks for all the advice it helped a lot. I actually showed this post to my husband with all your comments and it really opened his eyes. He didn't realize I was feeling so apprehensive about using his brother as a sperm donor.
Also,I don't think I mad it very clear in my first post, but my husband has had his sperm checked . This is why he asked his brother to be a donor; because he is almost guaranteed not be able to concieve a child with me. Though we will be trying anyway. My husband and I also talked to his brother and told him that we thought it was great he wants to be our donor but we will be going through a fertility clinic inorder to conceive and if donor sperm is needed he will have to give a sample in clinic for use and proper testing. No natural baby making here. Now, I wasn't sure I wanted to use my brother in law at all, but my husband will not use any other sperm! My brother in law is still on board with this plan even though he thinks it would just be cheeper and easier to just do things at home. However, at least in California, by going through a doctor it will prevent him from being able to make any legal claims to the child later on.
Also, my husband admits that he didn't really want me to ever sleep with his brother, he just thought that it would be the quickest most inexspensive way to get pregnant because it was natural. He didn't really take into consideration that I might have to do this more then once or twice if done during my fertility peek. He also admited that if his medical conditions ever got any worse and he passed away his brother was the only man he would ever deem worthy enough for me to be with! I always knew my husband admired his brother, and his brother really is a good person, but I didn't know he felt this way. My husband also wants to make his brother the guardian of any child we have regardless if we use his sperm or not.
Sailorsbelle is right, my husband and I should really get counseling and figure this all out and thats exactly what we are going to do. Thanks for all the replies.
Sounds like you guys have a lot to discuss. I wouldn't do it naturally though. Maybe tell your BIL you don't feel comfortable with this?
Have you thought about having hour hubby's sperm checked, before you worry? He might be more fertile than you realize. My dad was supposed to be sterile. He had a childhood illness (mumps or scarlett fever or something) that caused a long, long fever and sterility. My mom got pregnant the first time on her honeymoon with him, the second time during a one week "we'll see what happens" break from birth control on vacation, and the third time on the pill. Your hubby might be more fertile than you realize.
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012
I vote no to the brother-in-law. It just doesn't seem right. I know that there are families that have done it, and they've had great results. But, you're family doesn't seem to be in the ideal situation.
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012
Dh should have asked you before he brought it up with his brother. Plus, the fact that he wants to do it naturally is messed up -this isn't about what *he* wants -this is your decision & if you don't want to have sex with him then that's the end of the discussion. Plus, if he isn't willing to sign over his rights then that should be a deal breaker too. Sounds to me like there is a major blurring of boundaries here. Don't let your husband & bil bully you around...
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