Can't get babies off my mind!!
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|Sun, 09-23-2012 - 11:30pm|
My name is Kat, I'm 27 & currently baby crazy. I've always been anticipating the moment I can TTC & become a mom but after a time period of gynecological irregularity, explorative surgery & eventual diagnosis of endometriosis along with PCOS, I've really been spasing. The whole venture was originally something I talked about with my SO but for a while I was holding in my desires/obsessive thoughts because I was worried it would just overwhelm him too. I have to admit that when I finally expressed how much it really meant to me, how worried I am & how much I need support, it was the best thing ever. The even better part of expressing all this was that I found out he understood & felt just as strongly as I did about starting a family!
After talking with him & really expressing my concerns of irregularity with my gyno (who by complete coincidence is actually very interested & experienced with infertility) we began venturing into diagnostics to search for answers. It started with an ultrasound, revealing PCO but I was not fully diagnosed with PCOS since I didn't have most of the symptoms, just abundant cysts on the ovaries & irregular cycles. Then when did the blood tests, checking hormone levels & evaluating cycle charts. After doing such & getting on progesterone to try & promote a healthy cycle, we started noticing pain during intercourse & mid-cycle problems so we moved to more. We went with an endometrial biopsy first but that was completely normal so then we decided on laproscopic surgery, which I am currently recovering from now. It's only been 2 days & I'm already stressing.
I found out after the surgery that I had stage 1 endometriosis which I honestly have no idea what that means, but I am highly anticipating my post-op appointment. I know I'm rushing my thoughts to cut immediately to the worries of what might be wrong..but I can't help it. My SO is totally understanding & is trying to remind me that we're doing all we can & the best thing we can do is take it one step at a time, but damnit I can't get babies off my mind.
That's why I'm here, reaching out a little bit to a community that I think can understand me better. I have a great support group but I don't want to run them ragged! Especially my SO, he's already worried himself while trying to be a rock for me so I need to get some of these emotions under wraps & focus a little better.
I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with such strong baby desires & feeling baby crazy, so how do you ladies cope? I can't help but feel a little insane sometimes with how much I think about it..and it seems like everyone around me is pregnant, having a baby, has a baby or just found out they are pregnant.