DH can't "finish"
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DH can't "finish"
| Thu, 07-16-2009 - 7:23am |
We have been trying for 8 cycles now without much success.
| Thu, 07-16-2009 - 7:23am |
We have been trying for 8 cycles now without much success.
TTC with PCOS, MTHFR, APS (Hughes Syndrome) and a Mullerian Anomaly
PCOS, Insulin Resistance, MTHFR, APS (Hughes Syndrome) and a Mullerian Anomaly (bicornuate uteru
Do you talk about TTC a lot with him? I know some men would prefer to not know all the nitty gritty details and just enjoy the sex.
You said that he sometimes had problems with this before TTC...should he go to a doctor? If he's had this problem for 6 out of 8 months, I wonder if something else could be going on? Chances are though, it's probably stage fright. Whatever it is, make sure you are supportive and don't get mad at him. I'm sure he wants to finish just as much as you want him to.
I think this sort of thing is really common. I've had some experience with this as well. For us, it was definitely the pressure of knowing that there was this small window of opportunity and it was like....let's go! NOW!!! No, NOT tomorrow, NOW!!! When he would freak out and not be able to finish, he would know that I was disappointed (as much as I tried to tell him I wasn't and that I understood) and that of course did not help. We identified the stress as the cause immediately, and I offered to not tell DH when we we at our peak chance, but he maintained that he wanted to know.
I don't know what your sex life is like, and can only speak for myself. As we were TTC, and the months wore on and we got more frustrated and disappointed, our sex life became what all my friends warned me about - sex to get pregnant. We are also in the process of buying a house, and that combined with the stress of TTC and daily life, work, etc. really took its toll on our sex life. We tended to focus our attention on my fertile period, when naturally the pressure was on. If I could do all that over again, I would make sure that we were intimately connected all the time, throughout my entire cycle, and I really think that would have made a difference. As a matter of fact, I recently had surgery and was told that we could not have intercourse for at least 4 weeks. All of a sudden, I looked at my husband and realized that I missed the intimacy we had before TTC.
I'm telling you, if I could do it all over again I would have made sure that we stayed intimate and connected throughout my entire cycle, and didn't necessarily announce every time I got a smiley face on my OPK or a peak reading on my monitor. I really think that would have helped.
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Cycle 1 - BFN. Was told I have polycystic ovaries. The fertility obession begins. Day 3 Blood Work - Appears to be normal, with slightly high prolactin. Must re-do next cycle.
Cycle 2 - DH's s/a came back normal. BFN - AF arrived early.
Cycle 3 - Day 3 Blood Work re-do is normal. Could not do HSG...long story. Have an appt. with the local fertility genius in mid-May. O'ed early, no chance for a BFP this cycle, which was my first 28 day cycle in YEARS!
Cycle 4 - Day 3 b/w is normal yet again. Back to my regular cycle length. Using CBEFM and OPKs, not temping. Learned that I DO NOT have PCOS, but do have an obstructed cervix. Surgery to correct in early July.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/221fba
Does he smoke pot?
Hi Mamebl!
This happens to my DH every once in a while too. Ours is because (when it happens) I have too much lubricant (natural or artificial) and it's too slippery. I just have him pull out before he gets too frustrated and have him lay down and relax and give him a little hand action. to change up the rhythym of things. this helps to dry out some of the lubrication and get the excitement brewing again. Also...sorry if this is TMI but if he is behind you while you are going at it try reaching behind or underneath you and gentley fondling him while he's doing his thing. ;) Good
This happen to us the first couple of cycles, too.
If he says he thinks its your abundance of EWCM (you lucky girl - I'm worried I don't produce enough!) I wouldn't discount that entirely. If there isn't enough friction, that can definitely be problematic for him. You might want to take a quick break and use a tissue to get rid of some of that wonderful, natural lubrication and then get back to it.
Good luck!
--Destiny
I was having the same issue with my DH, it was really getting frustrating, but luckily it still managed to happen the second cycle of TTC... just got REALLY lucky that he was able to finish the day before I O'd.