DH is driving me nuts!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2002
DH is driving me nuts!
1
Mon, 11-10-2008 - 6:07pm

I swear, if I didn't need him to conceive a baby..... He's been the one who's been saying since DS#2 that we should have another one. I've always wanted three kids but was on the fence about whether or not we should have another one. So over the past several months I've gotten my heart set on having another one. We tried in August unsuccessfully. We were going to try in Sept but then I realized it would make my life much easier if we could have a baby born in Sept or after so my oldest is in school full time (he gets restless and acts up during the summers). So now that the time is coming up, I've been spending time looking over the theories on gender swaying (we have 2 DS and would love a girl - we'd love either one but since we have two boys I figure we may as well try for a girl - can't hurt anything to try).


First, he acted very ambivalent about it when I brought it up - almost like I was asking if he wanted chicken or pasta for dinner. I told him I didn't want to go forward with having another baby if his heart wasn't really in it. He assured me he was very excited about having another baby. So then I told him a few weeks ago that I need him to make some changes to his diet and start taking some supplements as part of my girl plan. He gave me grief about that, and again I told him if he's not on board, let's just forget it. So he agreed he would cooperate as much as possible.


So now I've been all excited about trying at the end of Dec., counting down the weeks. The other day I sent him an email with links to some stuff I was thinking about putting on the boys' xmas lists and wanted his input before sending it on to the relatives (huge family that spoils them rotten). I mentioned on there new bedding for the boys since our youngest will be moving to a big bed but didn't know if we needed 2 of things like lamps, curtains, etc. since I wasn't sure what the rooming situation would be (either they'll have to share a room or we'll have to move our office elsewhere and put the baby in there). Well he emailed me back last night and said the boys can share a room and we'll make the current nursery into a spare room / guest bedroom!!! What?!?! I asked him what the heck that was supposed to mean, that I thought we had agreed to have another baby and where was he planning on putting the baby? He made some goofy comment about how a crib doesn't take up an entire room and you can use some of the space for other things. Yeah, I'm sure guests will want to bunk up with a baby. I pointed out that our nursery has been exclusively a nursery for almost 6 years now and he'd never tried to make it a multipurpose room before. When I got upset, he blew up and told me I was being "hormonal" and that if that's how I'm going to act, then he may have to rethink having another baby with me at all. He went on to say he's not going to get all excited about a baby until there is a baby to get excited about. I can understand that, but why on earth would we want to go to all the trouble of redoing that room if we're planning on having a new baby in about a year or so? He just couldn't understand why him wanting to make that into a spare room or a reading room or a guest room upset me so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 11-10-2008 - 7:04pm

I'm sorry he's being a pain about this. Men can be so frustrating!!! Anyway, I don't think he's against having another baby. It sounds like you've given him plenty of chances to voice his opinion if he didn't want another one. One thing that I have learned about some men is that they don't always get excited about things unless they are right there for them to see and feel. I agree with you that you shouldn't trouble yourselves with changing the room unless if you're going to turn around and use it as a nursery. Just table the discussion for a few days or weeks and see if he comes around to agreeing with you. Maybe he just wants it to be his idea and not yours.


Shannon
DS 04/25/05
TTC #2

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/62883">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/62883/ttc.png">>

***********************************
Shannon

Pregnant with #2
BFP on 11 DPO
HCG 17 DPO = 2,000
HCG 20 DPO = 10,979
HCG 23 DPO = 25,588 (u/s showed gestational sac)
27 DPO = u/s showed baby and hearbeat! YAY!