Fairly New,Thought I'd introduce myself.
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Fairly New,Thought I'd introduce myself.
| Wed, 09-24-2003 - 10:06pm |
First of all, goodluck and lots of vibes to everyone at this board. I've posted a few discussions, but I thought i'd finally introduce myself =). My name is Megan, and I live in Indiana * rolls eyes*. Something i'm a little scared to say, is my age lol. But yeah... i'm 17. Please do not critisize me for my age. I know i'm way too young to be planning a baby and everything. I know it'll be VERY hard at times, if not most of the time. I also know that I need to be very financially secure. I'm not one of those teens that just want to get pregnant for the attention. I have all the attention I want and need right now. It's just I feel that i'm ready, although i'm probably not at all informed of what it's like to have a child at such a young age, I guess i'll have a reality check. I'm a nice girl, I think. I have good outlooks on life, and I do have goals, that I can achieve, with or without a child. This board has amazed me. I've been to other ones, not when I was TTC, but when I thought that I might be pregnant before. I was stereotyped even at a Teen Pregnancy Msg Board. I haven't been here yet, but I hope i'm not, after people read this. You support each other so well. You girls have good hearts =) Me and my fiance have been together for almost 8 months.. ( yeah that's not very long) but I've never felt this way about any guy before. I thought I was inlove with practically almost all of my other bfs. But this one, it's different. And I like it alot :D. If you ask anybody ever around us, they say we're stuck up each others asses. And it's not puppy love or anything. But for awhile, before he knew, I was wanting a baby. I mean it wasn't consuming my life or anything, but there were times when I was wishing i'd be pregnant. Then last month, I told him about it, fearing he'd freak out and stuff. But what he told me, surprised me. He said he had been wanting one too. So...well I dont know how to explain everything the way it is. But I just thought i'd introduce myself. 17/f/Indiana. Please treat me as a human being and not a sex craving teenager lol. Thanks and goodluck to everyone here.
-Megan-
-Megan-

I'm 29 and am TTC for the first time this year. And yet I remember 17 like it was yesterday!! I'm not going to critize you, but I do want to ask you to ponder a few things. First, have you graduated? Are you finicially secure enough to have and raise a baby? (you don't have to answer publicly! :-)
I met DH when I was very young -- 14 acutally! And believe you me, there were many times in our realtionship that I thought how nice it would be to have his baby. There is something intimate about it. Something you two can share together that bonds you. But even though you hate to hear it -- your're so young! You have such a LONG time yet to have babies! :-) PREPARE THE WAY for that little one by finishing school and both getting good jobs. And get married too! :-) Give that baby a solid start, and you won't regret it.
Hugs,
amie
I am 26 and got pregnant with my first child when I was in college (at 22). My boyfriend, who is now my husband, was extremely supportive and we got married shortly after we found out. We considered ourselves lucky that this happened during our senior years in college, becuase we could both graduate before the baby came and get jobs and such. Of course, it was not as easy as we had hoped. We found that it is very difficult to obtain a stable job these days, even when you have a college degree. Also, the costs of raising a child are pretty steep. It costs anywhere from $3,000-$8,000 just to be pregnant and give birth, and that is if everything goes well. When the baby comes, each month you are looking at paying $100 for formula, $40 for diapers, and $400 for daycare (if you work). This is in addition to health insurance, doctor visits, clothes, toys, etc.
My dh and I feel like we have everything we want right now, a house, 2 cars, a little spending money. So we don't mind that the majority of our earnings goes to our children. It is definitely worth it. However, I don't know what we would do if we didn't have enough money to make ends meet.
I am not trying to discourage you by any means. I LOVE being a relatively young mother. It has its benefits as well. And you seem like a very mature individual to seek out support early and discuss the subject with your boyfriend. My advice is to just spend some time soul-searching and number-crunching before you ttc. Good luck and please keep us posted on your thoughts.
-Erin
TTC#3, C1, CD9
http://pages.ivillage.com/tallymommy21/index.html<
-Megz-
I have a great friend who got pregnant - was engaged but scooted up the wedding - at age 20...and even at 20 (and married) there are just a lot of things that she missed out on. I'm sure you may be rolling your eyes and saying you know this etc. but just hear me out for a sec. :-) My friend - whose daughter is now 12 - had times when she was just so lonely and felt out of place - because while the rest of us were going to college or just going out to bars and trying out different boyfriends or doing the standard 'stuff' that teens/young adults get to do....she was home with her baby. Or later, having to go to playgroups or preschool etc. and nobody could relate to her. Nobody her age at least - and who was she left with that - the other Moms were older so they looked at her differently and just never warmed up to her. Sure she got out from time to time, but the baby was her priority (which it should be) you just cannot do what others your age will be doing - and I can only say that while DEFINITELY her daughter is/was a miracle and blessing in her life...there were times that it was just so very hard.
And just to throw it out to complete the story - which has a somewhat sad ending as far as my friend's marriage goes....turns out her boyfriend/fiance/husband who was all gung ho and wanting the baby wound up thinking it was NOT so great after all to be so young and be a father and missing out on all the stuff that HE was missing out on (remember, guys mature muuuuuuch slower than we do so while he might seem ready and mature now, you just can't be so sure when he's so young himself) He ended up going out a lot and wound up cheating on her....she spent a loooong time chasing him down for financial support and sadly, in the long run - he signed over all custody rights to her and he's never been around since. Once he grew up, he started his own life somewhere else but this daughter has never known her biological father....all because they were just too young and THOUGHT they were ready.
You may say that you won't mind missing those things and while that may be true - maybe just wait some time to let yourself get to do those fun & normal developmental things and then make your decision...geesh, you could even wait a whole 3 years and have a baby at 20 and you'd STILL be considered a YOUNG mom!!!
I don't know you from a hole in the wall and I don't want to sound condescending or any of that - just putting in a story that I know that is perhaps starting out similarly to yours. If I were your friend or close to you, I'd say go and have fun and enjoy life for a few more years and then come back to this decision and you will STILL be a young young mother by society's standards.
Best wishes...