FEATURED MEMBER 7/16: PEGGY (DIKSEA_GAL)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
FEATURED MEMBER 7/16: PEGGY (DIKSEA_GAL)
27
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 10:50pm
Please welcome Wednesday's featured member, Peggy! Ask away ladies. Get creative, but don't get personal. make Peggy feel like Queen for the Day!

SPECIAL NOTE:

Featured members for Tuesday and Wednesday are going to be a little different. Tuesday's featured member is Cherisse (maddiesmom_26). Please ask her questions as usual. However, I am posting the featured member folder for Peggie (diksea_gal) who is the Wednesday featured member now also. The reason is that Peggie can only answer questions at night, so we will post our questions for her Tuesday, she'll answer them Tuesday night, then we'll read her answers on Wednesday. Please, please take the time to post both ladies questions. Make Cherisse feel like the one and only Queen on Tuesday, and not like she's sharing her lime light. Take the time to post questions to Peggy even though she won't be answering. Thanks so much for all of your cooperation with featured members!!

Love & hugs,

Anne

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Avatar for diksea_gal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 7:39am
Pet Peeve: (adc1228)

Oh goodness, I could be here all night. My biggest pet peeve with children is 'whining' if your gonna talk talk... with adults it would have to be not being interested in the things the children you gave birth to are doing. If you don't have time for them then don't have them.


Okay I guess I got them all now....

If there are any questions that stem from reading all of that Feel free to ask, because I actually Like sharing my past just to show folks that you can overcome anything and be the best person you can be w/ a husband that respects and honors you and children that you not only would give the world for but they back to you.

Peggie

Oh yeah did I mention that my name is w/ and IE that's another Pet peeve of mine.. (LOL*.. and I am NOT a Margaret. Peggie is my given name.....

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 9:48am
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 10:45am
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 12:04pm
Would you like to tell us about your childhood? I don't mean to pry, I am just interested because of my volunteer work with CASA, and because as a member of this wonderful wonderful wonderful board everything that goes on in your/our lives is very important to me, like a second -- very special -- family.

Hugs,

Coty

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 5:44pm
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Avatar for diksea_gal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 8:13pm
Coty...

I'll give you the 'short' version then if you like I'll add to it w/ the LONG version.

Both my parents are alcholics. 95% of my family are alcoholics.

Both my parents abused me **physically and mentally** as did my step mother.

Older sister passed at 18 years old (I was 13) forced to grow and raise my brother and sister then 8 & 6. My mother landslid into the bottle. My father got custody when I turned 15. My step mother beat me everytime my father left for work, she had 4 of her own children and we were literally the BRADY BUNCH (3 boys 3 girls) and anything and everything that went wrong was blamed on ME. Mind you I was second oldest at this time.

At 17 I refused to take anymore from Step mother, no one would help me legally so I ran away. I was put in court custody, where I went w/o a family or schooling from Oct to Dec. I was asking to be emancipated but they would not do it, and I was not permitted to live w/ my aunt who to this day I consider to be more my mom. I was finally put in my first foster home only to have her youngest child accuse me of threatening her baby. Again this was the 6 kids in the house 3 mine 3 state.. so off i went again this time I was put in a "temp" house where I was only supposed to be for 24 hrs before they put me in Juvenile hall. My foster father at that time FOUGHT tooth and nail for me to stay becuase he had this "feeling" I was telling the truth, which I was mind you, and had been given a bad rap. He convinced me to go to prom and college etc. After I graduated highschool I had 3 months before heading off to college but I was not permitted by the courts to stay with him cause if I would have he would not have been able to get more children. So he arranged it for me to stay with his daughter and her family until school started. I then went off to college leaving most of it behind me. This and that happened **ie family tragedies, deaths etc** so I headed back home since I had really no where else to turn. I then hooked up w/ my high school crush, we were together and things were going great planned on getting married as soon as I graduated etc. And he was killed in a tragic situation on the job and I was left alone again. No one in my family really understood so I headed back to school to dump myself into my studies although I failed all but 2 classes that semester since my teacher would not let me make up things and I had been out for 2 weeks.. The following semester I met my now dear hubby and his family. The happiness goes on from there. They took me in the next summer, and helped me get a job and on my feet. DH sold his baseball card collection *which I did not know until years later** to pay off my credit cards so I could go to school and graduate like I had promised my X finace that I would do. I finished college in 4 1/2 years time total, hubby stayed in college an additional 3 years to be w/ me. I was working as a manager at McDonalds' at this time making good money and supporting us both. Upon his graduation we moved to Annapolis MD where his first job was taking us ** MINd you I INSISTED he marry me or I was not going since we had just been living together before then** we eloped to Virgina on my week vacation and got married.

My father has since passed, his family disowned us. My mother is still an alcholic has only seen my children 3 & 4 times. She saw kaylee for the first time since she was 2 months old in June when my 'so called' step father passed away, she will be 2 in Sept.

She and I are on the "rarely" speaking terms. She's not permitted to call be past 9 pm unless someone is dead (otherwise she will call me drunk ALL night long) and she has been firmly told that she will not disappoint my children the way she has disappointed me all my life. For that reason I do not tell my children when we are going there, or that she is sending something etc. cause usually it won't make it.

Any questions... hehe

Okay so that's a little longer of a version than I expected to type but hey.. it's all good.. don't mind sharing at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 9:53pm
Dear Peggy,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are truly an example for all of us, kuddos to you for "surviving with honors". Your story -- and many others I have heard of -- is what makes me believe even more in CASA. Have you heard of CASA? It is a non profit organization funded by a Family court Judge in Seattle, WA some 20 years ago to ensure that the children's voice is heard in court. Sometimes, when children go into foster care, the judge will name a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) to represent the child's best interest in court. We have access to all the same info that CPS, lawyers, the judge, etc have access to. We interact not only with the children but with the parents, the foster parents, the caseworkers, teachers, doctors, extended family, etc and we make recommendations to the court as to what we believe to be the best course of action to take for the children's benefit. It is volunteer work, we do not respond to anyone but the Judge. We remain on the case until either the child/children are returned to their families or they are adopted. We are the one permanent figure in the children's life from the moment they enter the system until they leave it. We attend all the court hearings, all the meetings, the family visitations, etc., etc. We make sure they do not get lost in the system and that every resource available to them is utilized. We are the children's voice in court. It is extremely rewarding and humbling. Those kiddos are so strong in all their misery. I am fiercly (sp?) protective of my CASA children, and make sure that they have the best possible placement and conditions while in the system. I go to their school activities, sometimes take them to their doctor's appointments, other times I take them to the movies, or the park. I just love them dearly, they have a way of getting to me! :-)

God bless you Peggy! I wish the best of luck! And give a hug to your wonderful husband from me! Tell him I thank him for everything he's done and will do for you!

Coty

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