How bad of a person does this make me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2009
How bad of a person does this make me?
14
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 8:28pm

So after realizing how bummed I actually am about my AF showing I've decided to try something sneaky, but even I think this is a horrible idea and extremely low, but yet I cant get the thought out of my head to go ahead and do it anyway!


The plan: SO and I talked about TTC a lot, I know he is ready for another baby (one of his own) and I know know know I am completely 100% cant wait ready for another! With this lay off that may or may not be coming SO is worried and wants to put TTC on the back burner for now. I on the other hand have a different approach. I stayed up all night went over every bill we have, including gas and food. I went over every penny that we have in savings PLUS what he makes weekly. As of right now we have enough money in the bank for 6 months worth of bills incase he does lose his job. Granted he will get another job in the mean time if he loses this one. So we have the money even after the lay off. Point of that being, it takes 9 months to bake a baby in the oven, so we wont really have to buy anything for 9 months, that gives us plenty of time to pick up something big every 2 months. Picture this. I get pregnant in Feb, in April we buy a crib/mattress. June carseat/stroller. August bottles/bed set. October lots of diapers/wipes/clothes. Plus in the mean time I will have a baby shower, bc I didn't have 1 with Brooklyn. So we would be all set by the time the baby got here, and we would still have money left over for things *he*

-Lindsey && Brooklyn 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 9:22am

Does this make you a bad person for thinking about this? NO not at all for "thinking" about it, acting on it is different, IMO. Here's my take on it. Back in Sept. I had horrible baby fever. DH and I had the plan to wait until summer of 2009 to start TTC. But, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to TTC right then. It was around the time that many of our friends were getting preg. with their second child and it was all around hard for me to deal with the fact that we were going to wait. I did think how great it would be if it just "happened" without us being on the same page. BUT, I never considered acting on those desires. I wanted the pregnancy to be 100% welcomed by both of us, I wanted DH to feel unstressed about it, I wanted to welcome a baby into a well prepared home. I didn't say anything to DH about my baby fever but I prayed to God about it and asked HIM to give DH the desire that I had for a baby or to remove the desire from me. AND, I kid you not, the very next week (out of the blue) DH brings up the subject and asked me if I wanted to quit my pills. I couldn't believe it! We started TTC then and I couldn't be more happier that he's on-board 100%. So, my advice is to really talk to him about it and see how strict he is about preventing or just not "trying". And be really supportive of his opinions and worries too. It'll take a long time for him to come around if you approach it in a demanding nature. Good luck to you!


***********************************
Shannon

Pregnant with #2
BFP on 11 DPO
HCG 17 DPO = 2,000
HCG 20 DPO = 10,979
HCG 23 DPO = 25,588 (u/s showed gestational sac)
27 DPO = u/s showed baby and hearbeat! YAY!

 

Avatar for madp67
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 11:30am

It doesn't make you a bad person at all for thinking about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2001
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 5:22pm

The idea of being sneaky to have a baby just doesn't sit well with me at all. Having a baby should be a mutual decision based on love--not deception and trickery!!!


Candy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 6:26pm

Hi Candy, I don't understand why you consider my response to this post as "trickery"?

ME 34 SO 31 TTC #1 since September/08 First appointment with RE October/10 HSG November/10 - Left tube blocked Unblocked March 17/11 Fimbriae are gone though SA December/10 - 1% Morphology Swim Up SA January 2011 - Morphology is 13% doctor says is

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