How supportive is DH?
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How supportive is DH?
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 8:36am |
I thought my DH was very supportive but now he acts like he is annoyed that I can't "just let it happen". I just had an early m/c or "chemical pg" were I had a positive hpt but it didn't stick. So, I guess I wasn't supposed to be upset. He doesn't want this to be a time of disappointment were I am upset every month it doesn't happen. So, I guess I'm not supposed to show any emotion about it. It's not like I am crying and totally depressed but isn't it normal to feel a little bummed out? Then my neighbor asked what all I've looked up on the internet about pg and he said as he rolls his eyes, "She's on there everyday" like it just really annoys him. He is taking the attitude that if it happens it happens. I feel that way too but when all this stuff is going on it is hard not to want to know what is going on with your body, what others are going through, etc. I don't know, now I feel like I should just not talk about it to him anymore and I have to sneak around to on this board or something. This is not how I imagined us TTC. We have been married for almost 7 years now and this is the first time we have decided to TTC. I think it is a major deal! Sorry if he doesn't. He's just making me feel weird about it. Anyone else experience this?
Thanks,
Jen
TTC#1 C2.5 D3

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Anita
ttc#3
Teresa
3 boys 12,9, 21months
angel baby 11/99
TTC#4 C#2 CD#13-going for the girl
Men can be real a**h***s.
That being said, we women have to understand that men are different. They are raised differntly, society tells them to act strong and manly. Even on this board, we see the earliest of gender role stereotyping with the pinks and blues asssigned to girls and boys. We often encourage our men to "be a man" when we want hem to act a certain way.
I have learned in life and in my marriage, that there are some things I discuss with my girlfriends and you'all here in detail, not my DH. Men are programmed to fix things. Have you noticed when you go to a man for support, they ask "what can I do"? Men want to make things work (fix cars, electronics etc) In TTC, I believe men can feel powerless. They may even be feeling a bit impotent (not literally) that they are not man enough to knock you up. The pressure can be enormous for them. However, they are not emoters (showing their feelings as much as us). They tend to act angry,annoyed, or disconnected.
Sorry for the rant. I have just learned to seek different kinds of support from different places. That is why I am here!
Sorry DH is being a man! We are here for you sweetie. Hang in and make that baby!
Tee
Take care!!!!
Ann
ttc #1, c5, cd9
I'm glad I have wonderful ladies like you to talk with! I don't know how I'd deal otherwise. Thanks for your support!
Jen
TTC #1 C2.5 D4
Stay close, keep the lines of communication open. Let him know how his attitude is hurting you. Somewhere in there he's going through the same pain as you, he just wants to express it differently.
I'm sorry for your loss. Best of luck in your journey.
Tami TTC#1 C12
(waiting for AF so I can start CC1)
Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06
I got pregnant with my first child and ex husband 10 years ago on clomid, had a miscarriage a year after by natural conception since then been divorced and am now with my nBF of 7 years and haven't conceived until This June. I just had another miscarriage by natural conception again. We both have one child from our past relationships but I feel it is important to have one of our own especially since this recent surprise and disappointment. All it did was give me disappointment & baby fever and he not cooperating like I want him to. I will need clomid to conceive and carry and I overheard him saying to a friend that it takes the fun out of everything & after this miscarriage he insists that we wait a couple months blah blah blah. He acts like I talk way too much about it and that he doesn't care one way or the other.
It's really ticking me off.
What is with these insesitive men? GRRRRR!!!!
Cara
I know exactly how you are feeling. My DH and I have been married for almost 2 years, and are TTC#1. He tells me he's ready to start a family, but that's as far as it goes. I know he'll be an incredible daddy, but It's so discouraging to have his be so distant from the entire topic.
My DH doesn't even talk about getting pregnant. I'm 11 days late for AF, and getting a BT done on Tuesday.. Getting BFN's at home, although I have symptoms. He keeps telling me I'm giving myself symptoms since I want a baby so bad, and tells me I'm not pregnant... he says he "just knows." It's hard wanting something so bad with an unsupportive hubby. I ask him why he doesn't talk about it at all, and he says it's because I talk about it enough for the both of us... He tries to assure me that once we know for sure we are pregnant that he'll be totally different. I sure hope he's right. I feel all alone in this.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement... it means a lot when I can't turn to my husband.
luck to all..
Cathy TTC#1
I know what you are going through. My DH and I are TTC#2. Our DS happened RIGHT away!!! Now we are on C4 CD12. And DH is just with the lets not TRY lets just let it happen. I can't even mention when I am o'ing or anything. I just say ok sex tonight! He knows that I am on here he just calls in my "Cackling Hens" board. Well DH and I have been married for almost 7 years also. I understand. He is not as bad as he could be. I hope you get your BFP soon. Me too!!
Tammy
SOunds like you could be talking about my DH!! Some days he gets excited thinking about it, and how we'll tell everybody, etc. But most days he thinks it is just supposed to happen naturally, and by that he doesn't mean without meds, but rather that I don't chart and that we just BD when we feel like it and POW! we'll be pg! I wish!
So just be assured that you are not alone!
Jenn
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