How supportive is DH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
How supportive is DH?
15
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 8:36am
I thought my DH was very supportive but now he acts like he is annoyed that I can't "just let it happen". I just had an early m/c or "chemical pg" were I had a positive hpt but it didn't stick. So, I guess I wasn't supposed to be upset. He doesn't want this to be a time of disappointment were I am upset every month it doesn't happen. So, I guess I'm not supposed to show any emotion about it. It's not like I am crying and totally depressed but isn't it normal to feel a little bummed out? Then my neighbor asked what all I've looked up on the internet about pg and he said as he rolls his eyes, "She's on there everyday" like it just really annoys him. He is taking the attitude that if it happens it happens. I feel that way too but when all this stuff is going on it is hard not to want to know what is going on with your body, what others are going through, etc. I don't know, now I feel like I should just not talk about it to him anymore and I have to sneak around to on this board or something. This is not how I imagined us TTC. We have been married for almost 7 years now and this is the first time we have decided to TTC. I think it is a major deal! Sorry if he doesn't. He's just making me feel weird about it. Anyone else experience this?

Thanks,

Jen

TTC#1 C2.5 D3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 9:20am
Yes, but on a smaller scale I think. DH was excited at first also, liked to talk about it a little bit everyday, didn't mind me bringing it up as often as I did. But now, after not even 2 months(!!!), he has already begun complaining about me "trying too hard" and not letting it 'just happen.' And I'm like, "But I'm excited about it, and if you were in my shoes you would be too! There's nothing wrong with being prepared and knowing more about your body! I can't help it if I'm excited about trying to have a baby!"

LOL, I feel like sticking my tongue out at him would have made my behavior complete! ") I was just annoyed.

Cassie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 9:43am
Jen,

In my heart, I think TTC should not be taken to then extent that many woman take it to. All this charting, checking CM ... it adds to the stress ... planning sex to make a baby ... shouldn't it be making love to make a baby? granted, it might take longer to get pregnant ... but a baby is about love for each other.

Now, if people have been trying 9 months plus, then all that charting IS great ... but again, it puts undue stress on the baby making.

PLUS, DHs do not have the emotional needs we do ... so that may inhibit there suport.

Hope my opinion doesn't mae too many people angry.

Yvonne

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 5:40pm
I am having the same problems with my DH! Before we started TTC he wanted to "do it" five times a week, now he's "tired"!! HUH?? Like the other night he said "It's 10:00!!" Like that is just so late at night! Before he'd be rubbing his foot on my leg at midnight! It is really driving me crazy. We have one DS who is 4 and he finally said that we could have another child. So, now he says I'm just rushing into it, like I want to get pregnant right away. Well, HELLO, I've been waiting for 4 years for him to give me the go ahead, so I don't think this is rushing things at all.

Then this weekend I mentioned the fact that we've been trying and haven't gotten pregnant yet and he says "well it must be you because there's nothing wrong with me". Talk about insensitive!! I want another baby in the worst way, but DH would be fine if we didn't have another, so it's really hard talk to him about any of this. I am sooooo glad that I have boards like this to vent on :-) He is really getting on my nerves at this point, especially with the whole not in the mood around ovulation time thing. Next month I'm not even going to tell him when I'm ovulating! Hang in there! There are a lot of us out here who can empathize with your situation.

Brandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 6:34pm
Weeeeeeeeellllllll... I hate to say this, but I see their point. Mike is the one who wants the baby... I'm up in the air about it. He begged me to start TTC. I was excited at first, but with failing each month.. it gets harder and harder. I was told when I was 18 that I would never have kids naturally. Mike thinks that it's crap. He's the one who found this message board and pushed me to join... he takes my temp in the morning when I would rather sleep the extra 15 minutes. TTC is all he talks about anymore. We walk through a dept store and see baby clothes and he gets teary eyed, and I get annoyed. Last week, when I started my period, I bought condoms and put them on his nightstand... he got offended and we had a big fight. Recently, I don't want to TTC anymore.... the pain from my endo is getting worse and I want to go back on my meds so that I can feel better... Plus, I want to go to school in April, but I don't want to hurt him by saying no. I've been trying to act positive about it... like I really want a baby, but he knows that when I ovulate.. I tend to get "tired" and push away. He already mention that 3 times today that the BD fest starts tonight when we get home from work ( I'm suppose to Ovulate tomorrow)... I've been thinking about all the Detours I can make...... Don't get me wrong, I want a baby, but I really don't think that we will be able to concieve naturally... and we can't afford Reproductive treatment at this time, so that put baby plans back about 5 years... Although he and Dr don't think that I will be able to at that time.... That is the thing, we aren't really ready, but if we want one, we have to try now.

Diana 21 & Mike 21

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 7:37pm
Well, I guess we ALL have our issues LOL! Hopefully it turns out the way we ALL want it too!

Take Care,

Jen

TTC#1 C2.5 D5

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