I am a horrible person....
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| Mon, 07-28-2003 - 2:06pm |
Well, first of all, when DH & I started TTC our 2nd I confided in my very close cousin that we were trying. Well, she told me then that they wanted to have another one b/c they wanted a girl (they have 2 boys: 1998 & 1999). ANyway, both of the boys were premature and she almost lost the 2nd one at just a couple of months. Her DR. told her SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANYMORE CHILDREN. Well, of course I assumed we would be pg by now. So basically her and I have both been trying to get pregnant "together" for a while now. Well, just a couple of months ago she called me and told me she had found out she was pregnant and a week later she miscarried. Well, yesterday was her oldest's sons birthday so I was at his birthday party when all of a sudden my aunt (her mom) says, "Hey, did you tell Sheree the good news.?" Of course I already had an idea what was coming and sure enough she said, "I'm pregnant". What I don't understand is why they are telling everyone so soon. She barely found out the last time and then miscarried. Plus, she was on anti-depressents because she is so stressed; just a few months ago her and her DH were separated and talking about a divorce; plus she told me they hardly ever had sex! And yet she gets pregnant! I feel awful for feeling this way but it just seems so unfair!
When I told my mom and DH when I got back I just started bawling and couldn't stop. My mom and I had a good long talk and her and DH made me feel a lot better, but I am still depressed. My mom was exactly who I needed to talk to because she went through the same thing. It took her and my dad 5 years to get pg with my sister and then another 5 with me! She said she finally just got to the point where she just gave up and that is when it happened. Well, I need to go, work is extremely crazy this week. I have more to say but just not enough time. Has anyone ever gone through this or felt this way? I should be so happy for her but instead I am jealous and I feel hurt, even though she didn't do anything to me. I guess I just feel hurt by life, but hey, I could be in a worse situation right?
Sheree--by the way...I am thinking about changing my username. I'll post an update if I do

((((((hugs)))))) and I hope you get a BFP soon.
Jen
Logan
I have felt the way you do. Even today, after having a DD, I still feel that way. Somehow, my one m/c and 2 years TTC will always hang with me and I guess I will always feel jealous of the women who conceive quickly and tell the world. It is unfair, but it doesn't mean that you won't get pg some day. Just because you feel this way, doesn't mean that you're a bad person. You're just wishing for something you can't seem to have right now. But you will.
Hugs to you!
Christy
TTC2 C3 CD28 13DPO
BFd big sis for 14 mths. Hope to nurse Kyle even longer!

Anyhow, it's only natural to feel this way. Don't beat yourself up over it. Know we are here for you and we understand. Hang in there sweety. {{{{HUGS}}}}