I don't get DH
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I don't get DH
| Tue, 07-08-2003 - 1:59am |
am i wrong but doesn't it take two to BD. when i told DH i had gotten a visit from AF, he had to say something stupid."what did you want to be pregnant?" after spending all day crying and talking to a couple of my girlfriends i had no energy left to strike back at that comment he made. he's been the one who's tried new positions and everything to try and get me pregnant and he says THAT!

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Dont get too discouraged with DH. I know its hard though. Men are just so different than women when it comes to emotional things. As much as my DH wants a baby, he still says some comments that i just have to let roll off my shoulder(which is sooo hard!) Just know he loves you and deep down really cares about the little one you two will conceive together.
Chin up!!
Ashley(21) DH(24) C2 CD6
I feel your pain!
Yvonne
BIG HUGE (((((HUGS))))! I know how you are feeling right now. Last month I told my hb that I was about to o. I felt like he almost purposly picked a fight with me so I wouldn't want to bd. I called him on it too. Then I was late for my monthly and very nervous and high strung of course. He didn't even seem to care. I was so aggrivated and mad b/c all that I wanted was a big hug and for him to tell me he loves me.I am about to o again and I let him know and the same thing he started to be really cranky and stuff last night. The I sat back and took a completely different approach to the situation. He does care but he doesn't want to get his hopes up every month if I am not preggy. I think that he is worried about male factor issues even though it is too soon to tell. Sometimes I feel like it is a male ego thing. I have learned in the past few months that we are not the only ones who get stressed out about TTC. My HB gets stressed about it too and he doesn't know how to express his feelings about it to me. He shuts right up and starts to be a brat and pick on me. I seriously thought that he didn't want us to have a baby anytime soon. I wish you the best of luck and I really hope that everything works out. I guess what i am trying to say is when my hb is worried or conserned about me he has very strange ways of showing it. So hang in there and keep in touch!
Jen
TTC 1
http://www.FertilityFriend.com/home/Jen
((((hugs)))) thanks girls. i have been so confused lately. it just started to look like he didn't care how i felt. in between fighting and anything else going on i wasn't sure what to think. last night was our first night alone in two weeks i think. i don't mind him bringing home one of his friends off his boat but the guy he brought home recently had been hearing all the fighting we'd been doing. all i've ever asked is that we had some time alone, so we could talk about things. frankly i get tired of talking to hte walls. we wrecked our car last month so i've got a bad case of cabin fever,i only leave the house these days to attend class so he attitude isn't not helping me.
GL and keep me posted!
Jen
TTC 1
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Jen
i love my Dh but somedays i feel like kicking him square in the behind. he could be more responsive to me, but he's not. i wonder where the man i married went....oh wait i know the couch. since i found these boards i've found more people to talk to since none of my freinds around me can understand. we're two months shy of our second anniversary and i swear we've spent more than three quarters of our live together apart since he's in the navy. i will be so glad when he gets on shore duty next week.
Jen
TTC 1
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Jen
Perhaps his remark was a shot more at himself than at you. But you know, it's always easier to direct our thoughts at someone other than ourselves. You did say he's been trying different things. Maybe he's feeling inadequate or like a failure. I know that my DH became very frustrated when we didn't get a result after about 8 mos. He became antsy and finally just went and got tested. He never really voiced his thoughts to me, he always tried to stay positive and upbeat. But when he went to get tested I realized that he was feeling desperate and unsure of himself in that area and that's a huge thing for guys, you know.
I really don't think men understand or even know exactly what the science is to become PG. I think they honestly think that any BD time can cause a PG. And that's hard for us girls because we take the time to read up and come to find out how small that window is and if we've been trying for awhile, then it's even more frustrating. And it sounds like some of these guys that get a little cranky during O time are getting defensive for some reason. Communicate with your guy and ask him if it makes him uncomfortable to discuss your O time and why, because you feel like he gets upset when you bring it up.
Your BFP will come, don't worry and your guy will come around too. You may have to ease him into all this stuff a little at a time but he'll come around. Before you get so upset about a comment he makes, ask yourself (or him straight out) why he said what he did-was it a dig on himself through you? And don't hold all your thoughts in until you feel so bad you can't even discuss it. You want to create a positive, healthy environment for your baby right? What if you're PG and all upset inside? Get it out, in a calm, mature chat with him. GL to you. It WILL happen for you. It WILL happen for all of us. :o)
Susan
sometimes maybe i should ground him to the bedroom. then he'll pay attention.
thanks for the support. i don't get to talk to many people about anything i've been going thru lately. i'm just glad i hadn't said anything to my folks yet, my mother already was anticipating a march baby told her last month it wasn't happening. and DH is just confusing me these days. i can't even get him to talk to me, the only time he does is when we're BD and then it doesn't matter. i'm planning on when he takes his leave between commands i want to see if he can get his sperm count tested if he'll agree. it was suggested to me by a girlfriend of mine. i saw a doctor in oct. who basically said theres nothing wrong with me i just have a tilted uterus which makes things more difficult.
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