I have no one else to talk to....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2011
I have no one else to talk to....
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 1:45pm

Hello, My husband and I have been trying to concieve for a year, and no luck. We decided not to tell others we were trying to get pregnant, so it would be a surprise. I NEED and WANT to tell someone else so badly. It is very difficult not to tell my sister. I miss having her support. Also, I went to my ob-gyn and have a HSG test scheduled for next week. I am so scared. Thanks for your support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2011
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 4:05pm
Hey I know what it's like to be TTC for a long time. Are you charting and using OPKs? Nobody in my real life knows we are having a baby, because we have been unsuccessful for almost three years, and I am embarassed to confide in anyone. Even my mother, who I am extremely close with. You are not alone! This board has some great support. Welcome. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 7:58pm
Sorry you are going through this alone -I know you have dh but *we* all know their experience ttc is much different than ours. There's a great bunch of girls here -we're here to cheer each other on, listen to vents, lift each others spirits & offer advice when we can.

I had an HSG & I was super nervous about it but it wasn't as bad as I expected. There were a few crazy cramps but it was very quick. I spent more time sitting around in the hospital gown waiting for the procedure itself! Definitely take some advil before & bring your own pad, unless you like the "diapers" the hospital hands out!

We chose to share our struggles with our family & friends & they've been very supportive. Plus, it's opened up the door for others to talk about their struggles too. It sucks that there is such a stigma about infertility :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2011
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 9:32pm
I recently found out that someone in my family had taken a year and a half to conceive the baby she's pregnant with right now. They didn't tell the family either because they were also embarrassed. Nobody else in our family had any trouble except her. Apparently, all this time they were going to fertility specialists, getting tests, taking progesterone and clomid and all kinds of different stuff to no avail. She finally got so frustrated and stressed that they gave up after spending thousands and thousands of dollars at every good fertility clinic in the state. She had been on birth control before ttc and was mad that she'd wasted all that money when she didn't even need it. So of course, they didn't bother going back on it, and lo and behold, 2 months after they stopped trying, she was pregnant. Totally random.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 8:31am

I think a lot more people struggle with TTC then we know. My father had fertility troubles for 7 years, only one of his brothers knew out of the whole family. (He told us later and calls his kids miracles, my mom calls us happy accidents, lol.) My closest cousin hid TTC and a miscarraige for years. It makes me wonder who else in the family has hidden it. My point is that you're not alone, even if it feels like it. There seem to be lots of people TTC, they just dont' tell at the time.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2011
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:23pm
I'm the opposite- the whole world knows we are trying to get pregnant- nothing like my whole family asking what my husband's sperm count is- ha! I'm an X-ray tech and do HSG's on patients all the time and they have done wonderful. I'm not going to lie to you though- I personally found it extremely painful. I had a C-section prior so my cervix has never been dilated and that's the part that made me want to come up off that table. The good news is it is a fairly quick procedure and you can see if the contrast spills out of your fallopian tubes immediately. Also, I have known some people to get pregnant within the first five months of having one. My advice is to take something beforehand such as ibuprofen and practice some deep breathing while you are having it done. Good luck- I hope the results come out positive for you :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 9:14pm

I know how hard it can be to hide it from others, especially family. DH and I have been married 7 years, and we conceived our first on the pill 5 years ago. Although we were already married and had planned on children, we just didn't expect it at that point. Our families were happy but were worried for us because of financial stability. Our second was conceived also on the pill (well, ok, sort of on the pill- haha it was a stressfull few months and I screwed up on taking them). And again, our parents and friends weren't sure whether to congratulate us or console us. It was hard, because we wanted to be excited, but it was scary. We've learned since then that babies don't need the fanciest equipment and high-end bedding and clothes that you sometimes feel you have to give them. They only need a safe place, food in tehir tummies, and lots of love. :)

Our life may not be in perfect order, but we know we want another baby. And we don't want to wait and start all over and have the baby be several years younger than its siblings. So we decided to try for number 3. We haven't told anyone because we fear we'll get the "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?"