I think I'm losing my mind...
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I think I'm losing my mind...
| Sat, 09-06-2003 - 7:42pm |
As you have possibly figured out by now, dh and I have been trying to conceive for just over 2 years now with no luck. We've had a whole mess of test and have been offically now labeled as "unexplained infertility" I had an RE appointment yesterday and was told that the best thing left for us to do is have IVF since everything else has failed. Of course, that's the one thing my insurance won't cover so we are trying to save $ for that. I just left Babies-R-Us in tears and didn't even buy anything. I was trying to get 2 baby shower presents for friends at work who are pg and due in Oct/Nov. I'm sure everyone in the store thought I was a complete freak. Not to mention my poor dh just doesn't know what to say or do to make me feel better. I don't think anything short of becoming pg will make me feel better. Of course I was one of the few women in the store who wasn't pg. How frustrating and hard it is to see all those pg women, many of whom look to be 18 years old. It' so unfair!!! Now I'm wondering how I am even going to be able to go to these baby showers and not break down and cry when I can't even go in the store and buy a present without running out balling??? Any suggestions on how to survive the showers?? I'm sorry but I really just needed to vent, I feel like such a loser right now. I feel bad for dh having to put up with me! But, he's such a wonderful man...
Desire'
TTC#1 since 8/01
c27, cd8

to you
Koren
I am so sorry for you...I know what you are feeling..with the showers I personally would just send a gift and tell them you were unable to make it due to other obligations...if they can't understand this...then I wouldn't make myself feel bad over it...2nd of all..I would really like to hear your story..what medicines you have taken (Fertility)...have you gotten a second opinion...what has happened over the last two years for you...to see if maybe there was something I could think of...I so feel for your pain
Angelia
Jason and had tried for 1.5 yrs to conceive our first child. (We were able to get pregnant, but I miscarried our first 2 babies.)
However, I completely know what you are going through... and my advice - though it may be hard, is to try your hardest to not become stressed and bitter. It was when I GAVE UP - literally, (I had made the appointment to get more BCP. I was at the end of my rope emotinally and physically, and I was due to go in to see my doctor in two wks.) that I found out one week before, that I was 3 wks pregnant... AGAIN! This time they ran a battery of tests on me and wathced the baby closely.
My point though, as soon as I let it go and let God, I was able to get pg. and carry him almost to term (he ended up being 5 wks early and was in the NICU for 1.5 wks. - yet another trial!)
I agree with the earlier poster, don't go to the shower. Not because you are bitter or jealous, but because it's hard and because you are not at a point to do so. If they are your friends, they will understand. Send a gift and your regards, then curl up, read a book, and try to relax. Relaxation and less stress has made thousands of TTC 1yr+ couples conceive with no help at all! We are a great example!
On a slightly side note: At my baby shower... that I had waited so long to have and had gone through so much to get there - a friend of mine spent the entire time crying because she was going through a m/c. What should've been a happy event for me, turned into a heavy, depressing, and not fun event as everyone spent the entire time consoling her (she already had 2 children). It was hard for me because we had gone through so much to get to where we were... finally, and I was not really even able to enjoy my shower.
So, from experience on BOTH sides... don't go, get on-line and purchase a gift, have it sent to their house, and relax with your Dhubby! Maybe relaxing and not worrying will be the trick you need! I know it's what worked with us.
HTH and didn't hurt!
In Him,
Bethanee